Where did propelling yourself on a metal folding chair that's on a wood floor sound like a good idea? Especially being as unathletic as you clearly are? Just totally eating shit and probably giving yourself a broken back and a concussion all at the same time. All you needed to do was shit yourself while you were laying there like a dead carcass and it would've been the trifecta. And your friends are also my new favorite people on the planet. Why? Because they all did exactly what I would've done. They left you there on the floor and laughed at you. Not one person tried to help you and I totally respect them for that since this was probably your genius idea. You are the weakest link, goodbye.
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