With social media taking over our generation, we’ve all had this person at least once in our life. The person you only talk to online. Not in the creepy “what’s your a/s/l” chatroom of the 90’s way. Maybe you met through friends or at a random event, but end up friending each other on facebook and for some reason start up a random conversation that continues for weeks or months on end. We all know what happens next: Intimate and meaningful conversations online where you spend hours revealing your soul to the other person, see each other in person and it’s AWKWARD AS FUCK.
Why does this happen? You literally talk to the other person as if they are your soul mate when it’s in text form, then avoid that person like the plague in public. In the event your forced to talk to one another the conversation sounds like porn stars warming up for a scene 30 seconds after meeting each other: “Heyyy...you. Sooo, yea (awkward pause) high five!” Like what the fuck when did it become normal for people to spill every detail of their life when its done through expressions but then no one can make actual words come out of their mouths.
And it’s even better when it all gets sexual. Which it will. Don’t think so? What the fuck else are you going to do talking to someone late at night online? Play words with friends? Only if the word is blowme (for the WWF fanatics I refuse to play this stupid game so I don’t know if that word is possible get off me). You exchange some playful banter back and forth, then when you see each other it’s like the awful one night stand morning conversation. You look at the person and think “sooo do we acknowledge we know each other or…?” Only it’s so much worse because you never even had sex. So what does this leave us with? All the guilt, shame and awkwardness of sex with a stranger without the satisfying feeling of getting laid. People (and of course I mean guys) stop jerking off in front of your screen and go into the field for some real action.
Nobody does that except for this bitter author who thought somebody killing time online and pretending to listen to their rant was a meaningful conversation. Stop projecting your insecurities on the rest of us. PS you sound like you need to get laid, good luck with that.
ReplyDeleteFinally my first hater! I've been waiting for one for a while. By the way, the whole point of this post was that people will say anything when they are behind a computer but don't have the balls to do it in person, which you proved by posting anonymously so thanks :)
ReplyDeleteWe actually talked about this in a sociology class I took in college. A kid at I think Tufts wrote an article on it, and how it happens mostly among college students because they'll meet at a party and text for days then see each other on campus and pretend not to see each other.
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