Look, I know everyone has this attachment to the beach and any type of shore anywhere during the summer, and it’s all well and good but what I don’t understand is why everyone under rates the city. In my case it’s Manhattan, but it could really be any big city that gets underrated just because of the sheer fact that there is no sand to lay on. If you’re one of these people who forget that the city even exists during the months of June, July and August, you need to start opening your eyes.
The shore does have its perks. Girls wearing almost nothing and a bar on the beach are things to get excited about. But that gets old after like a week. Everyone looks exactly the same. 90% of the girls wear sunglasses that are the size of fucking manhole covers so they can hide a hideous face that’s on top of a decent body and a good 80% of the guys down there are probably jerkoffs who start fights every time a person looks at them. It doesn’t even have to be looking at them the wrong way, if you look at them, they will try and fight you. Who wants to deal with that bullshit?
“Shut up, you don’t go enough that you know what you’re talking about. You can’t hate on the shore.” Actually, yes I can. I’ve been there enough that I know exactly what it’s like and I don’t need to be there six days a week for the “shore experience”. Therefore, you haters can suck me. I have a good time when I go, but I don't make a habit of it. So what exactly is so great about the city? Funny you should ask, actually.
What you get in the city is a whole different ball game. You don’t get one type of woman; you get all types of women walking around the city. The tight dresses with the skirt about mid-thigh that says, “I’m not a slut, but I know how to get down.” It has the girl in the dress that has the tight lower half, but a loose top that makes you figure out how big her tits really are. There are the girls in the tight painted on jeans with the loose top that looks sexy as fuck; and everyone’s favorite, the tight business pants with the tight top that has like two buttons open showing cleavage that isn’t slutty, but sexy. Add heels to that and you have yourself a beautiful, well-rounded woman.
Ladies, you get all different types of men as well. You can even find a man in the city who has his own money to spend and not Mommy and Daddy’s. You might even find a guy who has a job. What a change of pace that would be for some of you chicks! Or you may even find a foreign guy sweating all over you, talking to you in languages you don’t understand, needing you, wanting you, taking you. Yeah, like five girls just got wet from that last sentence completely forgetting that I took it from Wedding Crashers.
Oh and before I forget, the city averages like 5 bars per block. That's an average meaning some places have more. In laymen's terms, you don’t have to go to the same three bars with the same three hundred people every time you go there. But hey, those in denial will tell me how wrong I really am, and that’s okay with me. If they’re hating on you, you must be doing something right, so bring on the comments. I have plenty to ammo to fire right back.
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