You've Had A One Night Stand Before...

 

I was at work bartending on Saturday night when a woman tried to tell me that she has never had a one night stand before. Her and her friends were arguing about who has more one night stands, guys or girls and then she swore that she had never had a one night stand. I of course told her she needed to read this today. Because although she claims she's never had a one night stand, I'm here to say that might not be entirely accurate. 

Here's the thing, the one night stand that she is thinking of is the get sloppy drunk at a bar, meet a random dude, go home with that random dude, have some awkward stranger sex and then hit the road before he wakes up and you two never speak or cross paths ever again. Although this is the original one night stand and the best one night stand in the league, there is another type of one night stand that everyone has had to have before. 

What is this other one night stand I speak of? What happens when you're talking to someone but you're not sleeping with them yet? You go on a few dates and you're talking and then one night you two decide to get hopped up, put his stick in your shish-kabob and have a party. But then after the party's over, you or him decide that the sex wasn't what you expected, or you're not attracted to each other anymore. Then you start calling off the dogs and start straying away. Although it's not a traditional one night stand, it's still technically a one night stand. This is what I would like to call the classy one night stand. And everyone on earth has had one of these before. 

So, do you still think you haven't had a one night stand before? Do I know that you've done this for a fact? No, but I'm about 95% sure that you have. Why? Because girls who aren't whores like to get to know guys and then have sex once they're comfortable. But sometimes the sex isn't great and/or you're both not as attracted to each other afterwards. So your theory of never having a one night stand is not entirely true. It's not your fault if it just happened to turn into a one night stand, but guess what? It's still a one night stand. And I think that's something that we can all agree on.