What party am I talking about? The Facebook Pity Party of course! It is an invitation sent out by guys and girls to anyone who will listen. You all know exactly what I'm taking about. The "Woe is me" facebook statuses that guys and girls both throw up constantly. Especially around this time of year. "Can't believe school's back in session, FML," or "I thought he was different," or "Why are all guys assholes? :( Don't wanna talk about it." Really?
Okay, first of all, how much attention are you looking for that you are announcing your feelings over the internet? Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't even think the facebook world gives two shits about how bad you feel. "Right Steve, you put up 800 posts a day, like you can talk." I post stuff to my website, which people actually read. I don't post about how bad I feel that I cheated on my girlfriend and she broke up with me. There's a big difference.
Next, why are you looking for sympathy on something like facebook? Facebook isn't like an open therapy session for people to vent about their feelings (no matter how much it actually looks like that). Get a clue, or get a life, or just get the fuck over it. Yes, you know you have to go to class, you know you shouldn't have cheated on your girlfriend, and you should've known that guy wasn't going to be different solely based on the fact that you slept with him the first night you met him and he had no respect for you after that. All things you complain about you already know the answers to! Nobody feels sorry for you, and if they do, they're lying.
So here's to the Facebook Pity Party. Everyone is invited. The only admission you need is your facebook password. Beats will be played by DJ I Need Attention and DJ Please Feel Bad For Me. Possibly a special guest appearance by Justin Timberlake and Timbaland to sing Cry Me A River live, but that depends on how many guest will attend. RSVP by liking one of these ridiculous statues.
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