The first house party was actually a flat out fucking rager. I mean drunk girls falling all over the place, a DJ and people just grinding up on each other in corners basically dry fucking right there. Nobody at this party gave a fuck who was around, they were just ready to fucking rage. The best part about this was that I was drunk, but I wasn’t to the point of not knowing what I was doing so I figured why not fuck with everyone here right now.
I got out the trusty camera phone and started telling people that I work for BarstoolU. Obviously, I don’t work for Barstool or I wouldn’t have to put these fucking blogs on facebook for your entertainment. Now as soon as I told people this, they went fucking ape shit. People just yelling into the camera, girls going wild making out with each other and the fucking DJ giving me a shout out. It is amazing how much people will believe when they’re shitfaced. I had to escape this party, however, because I figured it was only a matter of time until they found out I was just doing this for my own enjoyment.
A half hour later, I headed on my next journey to this other house party. Very nice house, low-key party and whoever was left there was fucked up. I got there late so the big crowd was long gone. Doesn’t sound like much at all but then I turn my head, look into this small room and there is a fucking pig in the room. I am not exaggerating, a mother fucking pig for a pet. Not a small little baby piglet, a huge mother fucker. I didn’t meet anyone that lived there, I just know it was a girl who lived there, which got me wondering. Guys, could you ever have sex with a girl who has a pet pig? Like is she a freak because she has a pig for a pet? Or is she not a freak because she has a pet pig? I would think yes she is definitely into some freaky shit, but then again, I don’t know.
So long story short I got an entire raging party to believe I worked for one of the most viewed websites by college kids probably ever, and for the first time in my life I saw a fucking real pig. Pet pigs and sloppy drunk parties, that’s what Sacred Heart does.
Did you guys really think I would tell you about this pig without having proof?
No comments:
Post a Comment