Defining Harpooning

A lot of people want to know why I use the word harpooning when it comes to hunting for a fat ugly chick. It is a term out of the ordinary for this category because most people use the terms “hogging” or “whaling” for example. However, I have good reasoning as to why I use the term harpooning for matters like these.

To begin, the correct definition of harpooning is as follows: Going out in search of the ugliest, fattest creature in your phonebook because you are in desperate need of getting laid and have no other options. Furthermore, this is only acceptable AFTER you have explored all other possible options. Does everyone understand me on this one? Good, then let’s carry on.

Now as to why I refer to this as harpooning, and not another term such as “hogging” or “whaling”. The main reason is because a harpoon is not the most accurate of weapons to go hunting with. You may shoot for one animal, such as a hog; yet you hit a completely different animal, such as a bear. You can harpoon numerous things; bears, cows, moose, hippos, whales, hogs and any other ugly animal (or fat chick) that you could possibly think of.

I like to use the term harpooning for times like this also because you only do this when you’re out of all other weapons. You’ve fired all your bullets and grenades and have even thrown your tomahawk and tactical knife. You are down to one final weapon and that is your harpoon. With the harpoon it’s do or die, and that is why I refer to this method as harpooning.

I hope this clears up the definition for everyone and I also hope that this term can now be universally used as THE term for chasing down fat chicks. I know it’s wishful thinking, but if nothing else I really hope I have cleared up the confusion of this terminology. Use it wisely gentlemen, use it wisely.