Ladies: 5 Reasons You Are Probably Single

This goes out to all the single ladies on Valentine’s Day. Listen we know that you all complain about how much you can’t find a guy and that there is no one out there left for you. We have heard it all and quite frankly, we are sick of it. I can tell you that there are reasons that you are single that go beyond the assumption that every guy out there is an asshole. So for you ladies out there, here are five reasons why you are probably still single.

1. You are probably clingy...Girls, you all need to understand that being clingy is not an attractive trait. If a guy says that he doesn’t care about seeing you every day and talking to you all the time he is a liar. It is healthy to not speak to someone every day and it is especially healthy to not see someone every day. This maintains excitement when you actually do see your significant other and also keeps the urgency in tact for a guy to want to continually have sex with you. Here’s a hint: Why do you think every married couple hates each other?


2. You probably give guys the impression that you’re crazy…Every time a guy stops talking to a girl he will give the answer, “She turned out to be a fucking psycho.” There is no reason to question a guy about everything he does and there is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON to get into screaming matches when he hangs out with his guy friends. Also, keeping his little blunders in the back of your head that you use against him at a later date definitely makes you crazy.


3. Being a flirt is not a turn on…To reiterate what I just said, BEING A FLIRT IS NOT A TURN ON! This is a major turn OFF mostly because of the fact that we don’t like you hanging on every guys nut sack like a monkey hangs from a tree. You probably use the term that you’re a “social person” but in reality you give every guy in the room the wrong idea and they slowly become under the impression that you’re a slut. You may not be a slut at all; but it’s all about how other people perceive you, not about the truth.


4. You look for guys in the wrong places...Ladies, can you please stop thinking to yourselves that you will magically find the man of your dreams out at a bar. It is not going to happen by any means whatsoever. Every guy at a bar is looking for one thing and that is to find a sloppy drunk girl to bring home and get it in with. Look other places for god sake. Possibly a yoga class or maybe even somewhere like the mall. Also, looking at a close guy friend a little differently wouldn’t be a bad start either.


5. Having your ex still in your life as just a friend is bullshit…Still talking to your ex in any way only tells other guys two things: One is that you are incapable of moving on and second is that you are not really single. You can say whatever you want and sloppily make out with any guys you want when the ex is not around; but the fact of the matter is that you are slowly driving every other guy away until you decide to move away from your ex. If you’re going to be single then be single because the only reason he’s still around is so that he has some way to get his nut off when he has no other options.