The Rosetta Stone For Women

As much as women don’t want to admit it, they never actually say what they really mean. There is always an underlined meaning for everything, then when us guys can’t figure it out they hold it in their back pocket to fight with us later. So here is the Rosetta Stone For Women: What they really mean.

What are you doing tonight?

Translation: Are you going to ask me to hang out or not?

No I’m really not mad

Translation: I’m pissed but we’ll fight about it later

I’m going out with the girls tonight

Translation: I’m getting drunk and getting as close to cheating on you as I can, without actually doing it

Are you going to buy me a drink?

Translation: I just want the drink, not anything to do with you

I’m confused

Translation: I’m talking to another guy without you knowing

I don’t know what I want

Translation: I’m sleeping with another guy without you knowing

I swear I don’t usually do this

Translation: I’ve done this numerous times

I don’t think of you in that way

Translation: I’ve hooked up with one of your good friends and you don’t know about it

I’m not just saying this because I’m drunk

Translation: There’s no way I remember this in the morning

I’ve missed you so much; I want you back

Translation: I haven’t been laid in a while and you’re a sucker

I need you

Translation: You were the last on my list to call because no one else responded

I’ll let you know

Translation: I have a boyfriend and I’m not getting back to you

I like you but we’re moving too fast

Translation: I’m still talking to my ex

Who’s this girl that commented on your facebook wall?

Translation: If I ever see this bitch she’s fucking dead

I’ve only slept with 2 people

Translation: Multiply that number by 3

I’ll be right back

Translation: You won’t see me for the rest of the night

I like to be social

Translation: I flirt with everyone

I’m not one of those crazy girls

Translation: Give it two weeks; I’m a fucking psycho

I guess I’ll just sit at home with the girls tonight

Translation: If you don’t invite me over you’re not getting any for at least a month

I can take care of myself

Translation: If you’re not around I’m fucked

 

You are such an asshole

Translation: I’ll text you tomorrow

There you have the basic translation of the female language. Occasionally this gets more complex but for now this a good start for all you guys out there wondering what the hell your girl is talking about. Frank Cip thanks for the idea.