Single Guys: What Not To Do On Valentine’s Day

This is for all you asshole guys out there who think that you’re fishing with dynamite by going after all the single chicks on Valentine’s Day. This is a strategy that actually can work if you do it correctly; however I could count on one hand the number of guys who actually do this right. This is basically what not to do if you want to get laid today.

First things first, NO HARPOONING FOR GRENADES TODAY! There are plenty of good-looking single ladies down in the dumps about not having a Valentine; there is absolutely no need to go harpooning for a fat chick. Harpooning is only necessary when you haven’t gotten any action in a while and you are in dire need of sex. This is about doing things the right way today and harpooning is not the right thing to do on Valentine’s Day.

Next, if you happen to be talking to a girl who drops a few hints like, “I guess I’ll just be sitting by myself tonight,” or “I’ll probably just get drunk with my single friends,” then open your fucking mouth and ask her if she wants to hang out. Women think that men are mind readers and they will never directly ask a guy anything because they want us to figure it out for ourselves. Obviously you are not telepathic, but unless you’re a real moron you should know this is a hint and she is waiting for you to ask her to hang out. You don’t even have to do anything crazy just ask her if she wants to watch a movie or go for coffee or something. Get the hint, it might actually work out for you.

Lastly, don’t expect to go hang out with a group of single girls and think that one of them is just going to magically jump in the sack with you. If you can get a group of your friends to hang out with a group of girls tonight then spit some game, make it a good time for everyone and maybe by the end of the night you can get lucky. Don’t just think you’re going to try to get one of these girls drunk and take advantage of her because her friends will definitely jump in and make sure that you don’t get laid. Use your head and try not to be a complete asshole.

These are my main tips of what not to do on Valentine’s Day if you’re a single guy. I am not saying that this strategy will definitely work, but I can tell you that you’ll probably thank me at a later date. Maybe you get a girls number, maybe you actually do get laid. If worse comes to worse use the advice that a wise man once told me, “If you can’t get the hot one, try for the decent one; and if you can’t get the decent one, eat a sandwich and go to bed.”