The 2011 Grammy Awards Should Be Used as a Form of Torture During Warfare

I was sitting around thinking about a new blog topic and figured I would turn on the Grammy awards. About five minutes after I turned the fucking thing on I realized why I never have and never will watch the Grammy’s ever again.

I turned it on at the point of Justin Beiber’s performance and quickly wanted to stick a fork in my eye. This was mainly because I would rather sit in the emergency room and wonder what I would look like with an eye patch on than watch that little fuck sing. Anyway, I figured I wouldn’t shut it off just yet because something ridiculous would need to happen eventually right?

So I keep watching and then Lady fucking Gaga wins some award that I wasn’t even paying attention to I think something for her dumb fucking album. If you watched the show I shouldn’t even need to explain the ridiculousness of what that woman was wearing. She actually looked like a plastic doll and those the sunglasses she had on looked like she had two Pepsi bottles attached to her face.  But of course, the show must go on right?

I tried to pay attention but lost interest throughout country performances and other bullshit that was going on, and then something amazing happened. No, I am not talking about the odd transition from country music to Jaime Foxx. I am talking about the fucking performance by Cee Lo. This guy had to be fucking kidding me. I can’t even explain to you what that outfit was that he was wearing, he basically looked like a fat peacock with sunglasses. Now I have never seen a fat peacock with sunglasses on but that is the only image I could use to explain this ridiculous attire. And what was with the puppets? He had puppets singing for his chorus and I think he had a dog on his piano I really couldn’t follow all the absurd things going on at the same time though. Really, I felt like I was tripping on acid watching this god awful performance.

Finally, before I almost threw a bat through my television I kept it on to watch Katie Perry perform. Quite frankly, her performance was not very good and the main reason I watched was because she has an extremely bodacious rack. Also, her little cheering section right in front of the stage was some of the weakest shit I have ever seen. No one was moving, maybe one person through a weak ass fist pump at one point and they all just stood there with their arms in the air. Show some life people you’re lucky to be there at least pretend like you’re enjoying yourself.

As Rhianna and Eminem performed that watch me burn song I needed to shut off my TV because if you listen to the radio that song has been dead and buried for months now. As far as the tape of this goes, send it to the army and tell them to use it as a slow form of torture for prisoners of war because they’ll either commit suicide or give up all types of information. Me, I would just burn my eyes out with lit cigarettes if I had to watch this shit again.