When Fat Chicks Want You, They Let You Know It

 

Fat chicks are a necessity in this world. We don't want them to be there, but let's be serious, we need them there. Men need them when they're in a slump, and good looking women need them so that they look better. But the thing about fat chicks is that they are extremely blunt. When they want you, they let you know it. 

For instance, the other night at the bar I notice this hog sitting at the bar staring at the guy I'm working with. She was eyeing him up like he was a cheeseburger fresh off the grill. I waved at her and asked her if she needed anything and she said she was all good and then continued to stare at the guy I was working with. He came over to me and said, "Bro, look at this bitch she won't stop staring at me I don't know what to do." I said, there's nothing you can do. You basically have to tell her that you have no interest and she should move to the next guy. If you're not blunt with them, their desperation latches on to you like the smell of a skunk. 

There was one instance when I was bartending a while back and I was just being nice to this wildebeest because that's part of my job and when I went and did my job and got other people their drinks she said, "Why are you not paying attention to me?" I was like I'm working what the fuck are you talking about? She said, "Well then I guess you don't want a blowjob." I said, "That's correct, I do not want a blowjob from you." Obviously, this didn't go over too well since she clearly hadn't gotten any since 'Nam. 

Long story short, fat chicks are so desperate for dick that when they want you they let you know it. If you show them any attention whatsoever, they actually think you want them. This is why guys cannot be nice to fat chicks, because they don't take it as a guy being nice to them they take it as this guy wants to fuck me. We don't want to have to guess if we're banging the crevice under your belly button or your vagina, we're just being nice. Your desperation is actually kind of comical. So when a fat chick wants you gentlemen, she will let you know it. And she'll let you know it in a very blunt fashion. 

Sidenote: Obviously the just being nice thing is null and void if you're going harpooning that night. Then you are clearly trying to bag yourself a fatty.