Drunk Story from Jacob (Boston):
"It was one of those college nights where no one actually felt like going out but we all felt like drinking. That means it was a perfect night to stay in the dorms and drink. Now when I say we stayed in the dorms and drank I mean we got absolutely annihilated in the dorms. We were playing dizzy bat, card games and all other games to get you fucked up with a group of about ten people. I got so fucked up that I passed out on my bed mid conversation with someone and the next thing I knew I woke up during a fire drill at 5am. Not only that, but I also had coco butter all over my face since I passed out and everyone decided to fuck with me. It was freezing outside and we were waiting for the fire drill to end and after ten minutes I had enough. I didn't feel like waiting anymore. So what did I do? I got in my car, drove to McDonald's by myself and ordered five Egg McMuffins at the drive thru. By the time I got back the fire drill was over and I went into my room and face fucked all five of them while my roommate banged his girlfriend. Yes, that was the low point in my life. My roommate was getting pussy while I was eating McDonald's. I'm not proud of it but it made me get my shit together."
Not gonna lie even though it's the most pathetic thing I've ever heard in my life I did actually laugh out loud. Sometimes McDonald's trumps getting pussy and that's just something you have to accept. I love the intensity though with five egg mcmuffins. That's just savage like.
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