Sure, every man has a penis but not all penises are created equal. There are big ones, small ones, fat ones, skinny ones and even curvy weird looking ones. But for the gifted men such as Jon Hamm up top here who is clearly sporting the "Hamm Hammer" with that bulge, there are certain things that only people like him can do. Why? Because you can't do these things if you don't have a big dick.
5) Pornstar: This one is pretty self explanatory. You're not satisfying a female porn star who's taken more dick than a rape victim from the movie Taken without having a baby arm as your weapon of choice.
4) Go Commando: If you're going to wear no underwear on the reg then you have to have a big dick in order to do it. People are going to see the borders and outline of your dick without a problem when you have nothing on underneath and the only guys who are comfortable with that are the guys who know that their bulge rivals no other. Also, underwear just gets in the way because your elephant trunk is too big.
3) Bang Married Women: If women are married but their husbands are never around that means they are having zero sex. With that comes those same married women looking for some side D. When they look for that side D, they're really looking for the biggest dick they can find to jackhammer them through their bed.
2) Walk Around a Locker Room With No Towel: The locker room is an odd and awkward place sometimes that involves a lot of looking above the neck area. But when you're a dude who has a hose piece, you just drape that towel over your shoulder and strut on through so everyone can get a glimpse of greatness.
1) Drive a High Class Sports Car: Guys with tiny dicks drive big trucks and guys with huge hammers drive high class sports cars. Why? Because the sports car is basically the bait. Once women get in it they're pretty sold on having sex with you. Then when they see what's going on with that sledge between your legs the deal is sealed.
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