New Orleans Trip Recap

 

Well, not everybody but most people are wondering how my trip to New Orleans turned out. As you can see from that picture I was just straight up living the dream. So let's start with how drunk I got on a daily basis....

 

That's me on a breathalyzer machine at 5:15 in the evening. As you can see I was at a titanic 3.32 level before the sun went down. The best part about this is that this wasn't even the night I got the most drunk. We did other things besides getting drunk, and we had the hotel concierge with the greatest name in the history of hotel concierges...

 

That is his business card. He was literally the human version of the candlestick from Beauty and the Beast. He was overly happy to tell us where to go and he had long, slicked back blonde hair that shined like the sun glaring off the water on a hot summer day. We also went on a tour of the bayou...

 

We were on a fan boat searching for gators in the swamp. We only saw a couple and we got to hold a little guy, he actually felt like a pair of leather boots. We also most likely ate this dudes cousin and it was fucking delicious. Blackened and grilled, it's the way to eat your gator. Speaking of eating, we ate like savages...

 

This was just the breakfast table. It was a four person table, there were three of us and we couldn't fit all of the food that we ordered. As you can see there is a plate of biscuits on top of the napkin holder because everything couldn't fit, they loved every second of it. And lastly, we got to see shit like this...

 

That's a guy from Baton Rouge trying to balance beer bottles on this chick's ass. As you can see on the left, there is another person who found this just as hilarious as I did because she too had her camera phone out. I saw more huge women dancing on stage in four days than I did my entire life. And I'll tell you now every moment of it was hilarious. All in all, the trip was insane. It's a must make trip if you haven't done it already. Awesome food, awesome partying and awesome people; what else could you possibly need on a vacation?