It's my most hated time of year again. No, I don't hate it because I'm single. I hate it because I have to listen to people bitch about single. And then I have to listen to people bitch about people who bitch about being single. Single's not such a bad thing. Look at me, I'm gonna be alone on Thursday and happy as a clam about it. I have big plans to go watch Dead Bodies all by myself. What's a better way to spend Valentines day than to watch a Zombie movie? Now I realize not everyone shares my affinity for liking to go places alone. So last year, I wrote about What Women Want On Valentine's Day, but this year I'm going to share some ideas for you single ladies on how to get through this holiday that don't involve watching Crazy, Stupid, Love (seriously though, do NOT watch any Ryan Gosling movies or you'll hate your life).
1.) Pop in a movie like Enough or Fear. Two movies about psychotic boyfriends that remind you why it's better to be single than be with any jealous guy you've ever had to deal with. In fact, every time the guy in the movie reminds you of an ex, take a shot. You'll be drunk and swearing off dating in no time. Okay, so being in an abusive relationship is no joke but Jennifer Lopez's acting is so I recommend going with Mark Walburg and Fear on this one.
2.) Play the single one-up game. This little beauty is a drinking game that always ends with my friends and I laughing hysterically or going out to tag cars. Get a bunch of single girlfriends/ gay best friends together. Each person tells a story about something shitty their ex did. Every time you "top" a story with a better one, take a shot. Every time someone tops your story, take a shot. This game also works great for single guys. Trust me, once guys start telling stories about their bitchy ex girlfriends the fun is likely to never stop.
And the best idea of all....
3.) Celebrate the fact that you don't have to buy/ wear lingerie tonight! That's why this is the BEST day of the year for single ladies, that's right I said the best. Having a boyfriend was great and all, but I would spend weeks...okay, okay it was more like a day....starving myself so I'd look good all tussled up in a $100 get-up from Fredericks that I was only gonna wear once. So this year I say: FUCK.THAT.SHIT. You can find me happily sitting on my couch lounging in my sweats and a t-shirt. So is it nice to get flowers and stuff today? Sure, but it's also pretty great to get to eat your way through a box of chocolate because you don't have to look good for anyone but yourself. Happy Valentine's day everyone!
grass is always greener.
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