Inbox:
From: (Entire name removed)
"Hey what would u say if i asked u to bang lol im serious but dont take it the wrong way and noone has to know cuz ive always wanted you since i knew you in pre k lol jus keep it between me and u cuz it would start problems and i know u have enough but there was something always about u (name removed), dont even tell your friends gorgeous but deff dont take it the wrong way but i jus neva had the balls to tell u even when i was with that fat bitch i wanted too lol get back to me in a nice way lol let me know baby cuz i had enough of the fat squad (removed for stupidity) if u know what that means lol goodnight babe...i promise u noone would know and i could make u go wild like u neva had it before lol letttt me know beautiful and take it into consideration cuz i know u need a nice big good one lol"
Well as you could imagine, the girl didn't respond. As you could also imagine I laughed for about twenty minutes straight after reading this. Listen bro, going up to a girl in person and asking her to bang is almost respectable because it's ballsy. Asking a girl through a facebook message to bang is creeper status. My favorite part is that he has always wanted her since he knew her in pre k. Fucking pre school? Are you kidding me? You couldn't come up with anything better than that? Also, how old are you because you use the acronym lol in every spot where there should be a comma. Learn proper grammar for next time please. And finally, not only do you get a t-shirt for being the Asshole of the Day, but you have also inspired a new t-shirt idea with your last sentence. The new t-shirts will have the words "I know you need a nice big good one" on the front. So there you have it asshole, good luck with making someone "go wild like they never had it before", hopefully you find them through another witty and well written facebook message.
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