Wednesday, June 8, 2011

The $66 Million Dollar Money Drop



Ladies and Gentlemen, after all my time shitting on Jose Reyes, Carlos Beltran, Luis Castillo, Daniel Murphy, R.A. Dickey and even that waste of life K-Rod; I have a new most hated New York Met. I hear they’re naming a show after him called the 66 million dollar money drop. That’s right, you guessed it, it’s Jason Fucking Bay.

I cringe every time this guy comes up to bat; I just end up changing the channel because I know what’s going to happen. Hey asshole, how long is it going to take you to figure out that there’s a right side of the field? I watch you roll over to short and pop out to left more than any person in the major leagues. This isn’t Boston bro, 310 foot pop ups aren’t doubles off the monster and home runs anymore, they’re outs.

What I also can’t stand is the shit that he does when he’s up at bat. I hate that fucking half assed swing at a breaking ball when he pulls his head out and just waves at it low and away. I also hate when he pops up and does that little fucking sigh and throws the bat with two hands. You’re the power bat we brought in? Looks like that investment turned to shit.

Finally, here’s a brain buster for all of you who think I’m talking out of my ass. Since signing with the Mets here are Mr. Bay’s statistics (yes I took the time out of my day to figure out his statistics on just the Mets after last night). Posting the numbers total just makes it look even more pathetic.

He has played in 133 games in two seasons. That is not even a full season yet. He is hitting a blistering .246. Number eight hitters in the NL are hitting higher than that. The big power bat that he is has a whopping 8 home runs! That’s an average of one home run every sixteen games, are you fucking kidding me bro? He also has 57 RBI’s with a .336 on base percentage. And finally here is the case cracker that drives me absolutely insane. Our big time signing who was supposed to be the “power guy” is slugging .331. Three-thirty-fucking-one. The statistics don’t lie; I would trade his ass for a bucket of baseballs, TODAY. Bay is just another career that has turned to shit in the borough of Queens. Good riddens to bad rubbish, get him the fuck out.

No comments:

Post a Comment