Thursday: Drinking Game of the Week

Since it’s Opening Day today for Major League Baseball, and the injuries have already started for the New York Mets, I have decided that I will give Mets fans something to look forward to. This game was also created to make sure you don't make it passed the 4th inning, because realistically, you shut the game off by that point anyway.

The New York Mets Drinking Game: Because Watching Them Sober Just Isn’t An Option

Increments are in shots of beer

Mets Pre Game:

1 shot every time the word thyroid is mentioned

1 shot every time Bobby Ojeda verbally rapes the pitching staff

1 shot for every bad highlight reel shown

2 shots every time they show Mr. Met

Mets In Game:

1 shot of beer every time Gary Cohen says “Here at beautiful Citi Field”

1 shot of beer every time any announcer mentions how bad the past 4 years have been for the Mets

1 shot of beer for every time something is mentioned about K-Rod and his incident last season

Chug a full beer whenever the words “under the management of Omar Minaya” are mentioned

2 shots every time the Shea Home Run Apple is shown

2 shots of beer every time the name Jose Reyes or Carlos Beltran are mentioned while they are on the DL (they will end up on the DL)

4 shots of beer every time Jose Reyes hits a pop up while he is playing

Chug a full beer every time Jose Reyes does not run out a ground ball

Chug a full beer every time Gary Cohen becomes the kiss of death

3 shots of beer every time Keith Hernandez mentions something about when he used to play baseball

1 shot every time someone takes a dick shot fastball

1 shot if a pitcher for either team gets a hit

2 shots of beer every time Ron Darling talks about the pitching

1 shot every time a Mets player jogs after the baseball

3 shots of beer every time anything about new management is mentioned

2 shots of beer every time Luis Castillo is mentioned

2 shots of beer whenever Johan Santana is mentioned while on the DL

2 shots of beer every time the bullpen gives up the lead

1 shot of beer for every time a Met pitcher records a strikeout

Who the fuck are Tim Byrdak and D.J. Carrasco and why are they in my bullpen? Chug a full beer when either of those two enter the game.

2 shots of beer every time David Wright makes a throwing error

2 shots of beer every time the addition of Ronny Paulino is mentioned

Chuge a full beer if Chris Young goes down with an injury

1 shot of beer every time K-Rod throws a fastball in the dirt

2 shots of beer every time a Mets starter is taken out before the 5^th inning

1 shot of beer every time Ike Davis strikes out while lunging with one hand

Chug a beer if any Mets second baseman by some blessing from God hits a home run

2 shots of beer every time Daniel Murphy looks like a complete fool defensively

1 shot for every comment by Keith Hernandez that is completely irrelevant

1 shot of beer every time Daniel Murphy gets jammed on an inside pitch

1 shot of beer every time an announcer mentions anything about Jason Bay on or off the DL

1 shot of beer whenever Terry Collins is mentioned

1 shot of beer anytime any announcer mentions Josh Thole’s defense

Mets Post-Game (If you’re not dead from alcohol poisoning)

1 shot of beer every time Bobby Ojeda verbally abuses the Mets themselves or their management

1 shot of beer whenever Chris Carlin opens his fat mouth

Chug a full beer if Chris Carlin says anything smart