Guys: 10 Pick Up Lines You Should Never Use

Whenever you go out to a bar you always notice guys either spitting hard game and leaving with the girl they’ve been talking to all night, or you watch a poor guy crash and burn when he says something absolutely retarded. So here are 10 pick up lines you should never use if you want to have any chance at getting laid.

“You should come to my house tonight because I go to Yale”- Harvard, Princeton, Yale, nothing says badass like a perfect SAT score huh? Get real please; a girl isn’t ripping your pants off because you go to an Ivy League school. Maybe when you’re a millionaire at 28, but not while you’re still getting verbally abused for being a nerd in college.

“Since I’ve hooked up with both of your sisters, I’m trying to collect all three”- It’s okay to say this to your guy friends, but not to the actual girl you’re trying to get with. Are you just looking for a kick in the balls? If you ever think about using something along these lines, just tell your friend to punch you in the face.

“Do you have any Irish in you? Do you want some?”- Although I find this hilarious, even a complete slut isn’t sucking your dick with this line. Under no circumstances is this ever, or will this ever be okay. And if you’re thinking that changing the ethnicity will work better for you, there’s no chance, so find something new.

“Hi, I’m on the football team”- Football, Baseball, Basketball, Hockey, Soccer, Badminton, it doesn’t fucking matter. Just because you’re on a team doesn’t automatically make a girl want to jump in bed with you. This is unless you’re a star at a big time school with the chance of going pro. However, in that case she would already know who you are. Therefore, this makes for a terrible pick up line.

“You have really nice skin, it’s very natural”- Oh really, I had no idea you were a skin expert bro. This line equals a dirty look followed by her walking away. End of story.

“Today was chest day, I benched 315”- Can you be any more of a guido? There are no girls that give two shits about your chest day, or how much you bench press. Save that for you and your guido friends to talk about while you’re gelling each other’s hair at the tanning salon.

“I lost my number, can I get yours?”- Do you have short-term memory loss or something? Not only is this old but it’s also retarded. I’m pretty sure this line has never worked unless the girl is blacked out and didn’t know what you said.

“Can I borrow your phone? I promised to text my mom when I fell in love”- Why can’t you use your phone dumbass? And do you really think bringing up your mother at any point in the conversation is getting you laid? In case you’re still thinking about it, the answer is no.

“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”- Another old and horrible one that should get any man shot on the spot for using it. When I heard that this was actually used, I laughed my ass off and then figured that whoever the poor son of a bitch was that used it is still a virgin. That should tell you to not use it.

“Are you from Ireland, because you got my penis Dublin”- What the fuck does that even mean? Yeah, great you know your geography, but there is nothing sexy about that. Even if geography was sexy, this line still wouldn’t fucking make sense.

Those are 10 pick up lines that should never be used fella’s. If you really want to pick up a girl I suggest making eye contact twice from across the bar, then sending her a drink and telling the bar tender to not tell the girl who it’s from. She’ll think about it, and then find you. I can get you that far, if you fuck up when she finds you then it’s your fault.

Special thanks to my friend Val for the suggestion and a thank you to all the girls who gave me the worst pick up lines they have ever heard.