The West Coast Late Night Special

Late Night Menu: Sweet Potato Waffle Fries

Late Night Programming: Dexter

Late Night Song: Truck Yeah by Tim McGraw

Fun Fact: Baby seahorses are called "colts'...Wouldn't that be a seacolt since baby horses are called colts?

Late Night Video:

The Late Night Special

Late Night Menu: White Castle

Late Night Programming: Arrested Development

Late Night Song: One Of Those Nights by Tim McGraw

Fun Fact: There are over 15,000 miles of neon lights across the Vegas Strip...That's actually believable.

Late Night Video:

Boob Madness: Boobment Bracket 2013 Elite 8 Voting

I'll reiterate from last week that Sit on My Face Sundays will return after the Boobment Bracket 2013 has subsided. However, for the remainder of today, spread the word and vote to see who goes to the Boobment Bracket 2013 Final Four.

VOTE HERE: http://talkofthetown.bracketeers.com

Saturday Night Special

Saturday Night Drink Menu: Patron and Pineapple

Saturday Night Bite: Nachos with Ground Beef

Saturday Night Jam: Traffic by Tiesto

Saturday Night Fun Fact: Detroit has more registered "bowlers" than any other American city

Saturday Night Video:

Drunk Story Saturdays: The Honorary Member

Drunk Story from Larry (NYC): 
"It was a Thursday after a long day of work and me and one of my coworkers wanted to go get a few drinks afterwards. We live on Staten Island but we didn't want to stay in Manhattan. We didn't want to stay in Manhattan, but didn't want to go back to Staten Island either. Therefore, we settled on Bay Ridge in Brooklyn. It was an old bar, with old guys but we went in and immediately started making friends. It turned out that basically all the guys were Veterans of Foreign Wars, that was the type of bar that it was. Losing complete track of time it was about 3am. We were still there trucking away and drinking beers with these old guys and then suddenly, it happened. They decided to make me and my buddy an honorary member of the VFW. They swore me in, gave me a pin and everything. I am now an honorary VFW member with a pin to prove it. All because I didn't want to go to happy hour in the city. Oh, and yes we went to work directly from the bar that morning. Longest fucking Friday of my life."

That's actually amazing. I would have never guessed that someone could be an honorary member of the VFW, but you proved me wrong. And what I respect is that you lived by the rule of if you wanna be a man at night you gotta be a man in the morning. Going to work still hammered and feeling yourself get hungover. Been there, done that, and yes it fucking sucks.

The West Coast Late Night Special

Late Night Menu: Beef Sashimi

Late Night Programming: Fast Food Mania

Late Night Song: Me and You by Kenny Chesney

Fun Fact: The horseshoe crab is more closely related to spiders than crabs...I would still eat the shit out of that crab.

Late Night Video:

The Late Night Special

Late Night Menu: Grilled Eggplant

Late Night Programming: Game Of Thrones

Late Night Song: Feel That Fire by Dierks Bentley

Fun Fact: The Atlantic salmon is actually a member of the trout family...Don't know why I used that but whatever.

Late Night Video:

The Slowest 100 Meter Dash You'll Ever See

I think a couple of guys in wheelchairs could probably beat these two. I mean I have to cut them a little slack they're basically both the real life versions of Blue from Old School. The real winner of this race is the both of them, because they didn't drop dead and die afterwards. Kudos to you and your old wrinkly balls gentlemen. Have a great fucking weekend.

VOTE FOR BOOBMENT BRACKET ELITE 8 RIGHT HERE:
http://talkofthetown.bracketeers.com

Does She Have Two Asses?

 

Have you ever been so fat you have two asses? That's tough to accomplish but this chick managed to accomplish it. This is definitely a northern fat chick because she was clearly lied to when someone told her it's okay to wear those pants. Her top ass looks like a sausage trying to rip out of its casing. My god what a scary sight this is, I would normally say I'm sorry to subject you to this but it's Friday so fuck it. 

VOTE FOR BOOBMENT BRACKET 2013 ELITE 8 RIGHT HERE:

http://talkofthetown.bracketeers.com 

Boob Madness: Boobment Bracket 2013 Sweet 16 Recap and Elite 8 Voting Begins

Region One (Kate Upton Region):

MSUBoobs knocked out the overall number one seed KUboobs in a match up that was never really close at any time. The final was 63.2% to 36.8%. MSUBoobs will now move to the Elite 8 and take on Cinderella NCStateBoobs who edged LaTechBoobs by exactly three votes.

Region Two (Katy Perry Region):

MizzouBoobs1 just continued to roll as they ousted ducksboobs by a 67.2% to 32.8% margin. MizzouBoobs1 will be taking on UNLVBoobs in the Elite 8 as UNLV pulled away late from Pac12Boobs by a 58.3% to 41.7% to pull the upset of the number two seed.

Region Three (Dolly Parton Region):

What looked like a close match up on paper ended up being not even close as number one seed CMU_Boobs crushed UGA_Boobs by a 65.4% to 34.6% margin of victory. CMU_Boobs will try and get to the Final Four against the other tournament Cinderella TrojanBoobs who rolled another opponent by topping UofLBoobs 63.5% to 36.5%.

Region Four (Emmanuelle Chriqui Region):

Top seeded UUBoobs continued to steamroll their competition with a dismantling of PurdueBoobs 72.2% to 27.8%. UUBoobs awaits aggieboobs in the Elite 8 who took down CUboobs 72.1% to 27.9%.

ELITE 8 VOTING BEGINS RIGHT NOW. JUST CLICK THE LINK BELOW:
http://talkofthetown.bracketeers.com

Should Cody Zeller Return for His Junior Year?

Last night against Syracuse in the Sweet 16 everyone watched Cody Zeller struggle. He was reluctant to shoot the jumper from the top of the key and opted to pass or try and drive almost every time he touched the ball from that spot. This is just one of numerous disappearing acts Zeller has pulled this season and it's time for him to consider whether or not he's really ready for the NBA.

In order to be ready for the NBA and be a lottery pick you need to be ready to contribute right away. The NBA has become all about the second contract and not about the first contract meaning that if he can't get to the league and play right away, he's not going to last very long. Just give him the eye test. Do you really think he can bang down low with guys like Tyson Chandler and Serge Ibaka?

He's a seven footer who plays like he's 5'8 sometimes. He's decently athletic and can run the floor but he doesn't have much of a jumper. It's no secret that he's not going to be able to go into the NBA and body up with the real big boys. If he can't shoot the jumper, he can't play. Unless of course he puts on some weight.

I have watched almost every Indiana game this season. There are times he makes you say wow, and there are times you don't even realize he's on the floor. To go to the NBA he needs to be a stand out guy every game and that includes showing up in the big games. If you're sitting there and seriously think this guy is ready for the NBA right now, you're kidding yourself. Give him another year in a Hoosier uniform, and let him develop his game a little more. It'll be the best thing for him. And then maybe, just maybe, he'll be a lottery pick in 2014 and the Hoosiers can get to that Final Four.

In Florida Today

http://www.miamiherald.com/2013/03/27/3310004/lawmaker-complains-about-getting.html

When pulling over a state legislator what would be the proper plan of action? a) let him off with just a warning, b) write him a small fine for something else, or c) both a and b and then get fired for letting him off with a $10 ticket instead of $250? If you chose C you are correct. The trooper claims he was going 87 in a 70 and the legislator claims that was impossible because his cruise control was set to 75. The trooper also says that they learn in the academy to let state legislators go because you don't want to "bite the hand that feeds you". Now the troopers are under an investigation, this guy has no job and you and me are trying to figure out what the fuck just happened. It's Florida, I have nothing left to say.

Homeless Dude Has the Greatest Mustache Talent in the League

Not only is he the nicest homeless guy I have ever seen on youtube but he is also the most talented. That's the top mustache talent in the league. I have never seen anything like that. It's just flat out amazing.

That's Pretty Harsh

 

Now shoplifters are being prostituted? Sounds pretty harsh to me. 

The West Coast Late Night Special

Late Night Menu: Bacon Cheeseburger and a Vanilla Milkshake

Late Night Programming: The Walking Dead

Late Night Song: Tip It On Back by Dierks Bentley

Fun Fact: Number of documented deaths by piranha: 0...They're little bitches, you'll fuck one of those up if it bites you.

Late Night Video:

The Late Night Special

Late Night Menu: Apple Pie

Late Night Programming: The Following

Late Night Song: Take a Little Ride by Jason Aldean (I've probably used this multiple times but I don't really give a shit)

Fun Fact: The handle of a bucket is called a "bail"...Why can't it be called a handle?

Late Night Video:

Boob Madness: Boobment Bracket 2013 Sweet 16 Voting Ends Tonight

The Boobment Bracket 2013 Sweet 16 ends tonight. That means get those votes in ASAP. Who's going to the Elite 8? You decide.

VOTE HERE: http://talkofthetown.bracketeers.com

5 Things You Can Only Do With a Big Dick

 

Sure, every man has a penis but not all penises are created equal. There are big ones, small ones, fat ones, skinny ones and even curvy weird looking ones. But for the gifted men such as Jon Hamm up top here who is clearly sporting the "Hamm Hammer" with that bulge, there are certain things that only people like him can do. Why? Because you can't do these things if you don't have a big dick. 

5) Pornstar: This one is pretty self explanatory. You're not satisfying a female porn star who's taken more dick than a rape victim from the movie Taken without having a baby arm as your weapon of choice. 

4) Go Commando: If you're going to wear no underwear on the reg then you have to have a big dick in order to do it. People are going to see the borders and outline of your dick without a problem when you have nothing on underneath and the only guys who are comfortable with that are the guys who know that their bulge rivals no other. Also, underwear just gets in the way because your elephant trunk is too big. 

3) Bang Married Women: If women are married but their husbands are never around that means they are having zero sex. With that comes those same married women looking for some side D. When they look for that side D, they're really looking for the biggest dick they can find to jackhammer them through their bed. 

2) Walk Around a Locker Room With No Towel: The locker room is an odd and awkward place sometimes that involves a lot of looking above the neck area. But when you're a dude who has a hose piece, you just drape that towel over your shoulder and strut on through so everyone can get a glimpse of greatness. 

1) Drive a High Class Sports Car: Guys with tiny dicks drive big trucks and guys with huge hammers drive high class sports cars. Why? Because the sports car is basically the bait. Once women get in it they're pretty sold on having sex with you. Then when they see what's going on with that sledge between your legs the deal is sealed. 

MLB Prediction: AL West

So here's the final of our division prediction. The American League West, who had an unlikely champion last season, the Oakland Athletics. The Angels retooled, again, while the Mariners tried too and the division got a new whopping boy.

1) Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

I like the Angels a lot for one simple reason, another year of chemistry. Also, they happened to add Josh Hamilton to go along with Albert Pujols, Mark Trumbo, and that kid Trout (above). The starters are the issue with this team, there's no problem at the top with Jered Weaver and CJ Wilson, but the rest of the rotation is a bunch of what if's. If newcomer Tommy Hanson can be Tommy Hanson he'll be a legit number three, if Jason Vargas can be an innings eater he'll be a good number four. The back end of the bullpen needs a healthy Ryan Madsen, he'll miss the beginning of the season still recovering from Tommy John surgery. For some reason lately, closers are having trouble returning from TJ surgery (Joe Nathan took 2 years, Brian Wilson) if Madsen can return to 2011 form, the Angels are good there. Bottom line, there is way too much offense for this team not to win this division

2) Seattle Mariners

I love the Mariners offseason moves, this team is coming. They finished up last season very respectively and the front office saw that and is trying to capitalize on it. They needed power so they went and got Kendrys Morales and Michael Morse (above). They have fantastic prospects coming, last year's first round pick catcher Mike Zunino will be behind the plate at some point this season. He will also have the privilege of not only catching King Felix but also two of the best starting pitching prospects in the game in Taijuan Walker and Danny Hultzen. All three of these youngster will have a huge say in the Mariners season. Dustin Ackley, Justin Smoak and Jesus Montero are three big what if's but if they can finally have their break out seasons, which the end of last season showed is quite possible, they're the missing pieces that can really push this team into contention.

3) Texas Rangers

One of the most underrated players in the league is Adrian Beltre (above). This guy does it all, he's going to have to take over the role of leader for the Rangers now that Michael Young, Josh Hamilton and Mike Napoli are all gone from the once potent lineup. However, this teams window has completely closed. This team is going to really regret losing Michael Young and a lot of their prospects haven't been panning out (Tanner Scheppers, Julio Borbon, Mitch Moreland, Martin Perez) which means be weary of Mike Olt, Jurickson Profar and Leonys Martin, who are all expected to play huge roles this season.

4) Oakland Athletics

The A's run was nothing short of amazing last year but I see a hangover here. Yoenis Cespedes (above) needs to avoid the sophomore slump, as do starting pitchers Jarrod Parker, Tommy Milone, and AJ Griffin. The most important starter is Brett Anderson, the lefty can be as good as anyone but health has been his problem. The A's also added a lot of depth to the team with outfielder Chris Young and shortstop Jed Lowrie. Young has superstar potential but has yet to live up to it, can he blossom in the crowded A's outfield that includes Cespedes, Coco Crisp and Josh Reddick.

5) Houston Astros

So, the Astros lost over 100 games in the National League, now they're in the American League. I think that's  all you need to know.

In Florida Today

 

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/crime/fl-drunk-donut-driver-20130326,0,633633.story 

Well if doing donuts in a parking lot with a jeep that's missing a tire doesn't draw suspicion of DUI then I don't know what does. When the cop pulled her over she said that she doesn't go out much, doesn't know where she is and that she knows the tire is missing. Well if you don't go out much it's probably not a good idea to get fucked up and get behind the wheel of a car and if you know the tire is missing why would you still be driving? What a dumb broad. And she has a face for radio to go with it. 

Fat Guy Walks By Store Window With Mask Off, Puts Mask On, Throws Rock Through Window and Falls Over

With a FUPA like that, the only thing he's running away from is the gym. And with tits like that he's clearly been back and forth on the buffet line more than a couple of times. Fat and stupid, the two things you don't want to be at the same time.

You Crazy Old Bastard

 

I don't know about all of you but I would watch all day to see this crazy old bastard take a spill. 

The West Coast Late Night Special

Late Night Menu: Veggie Burger

Late Night Programming: Real Husbands of Hollywood

Late Night Song: I Won't Let Go by Rascal Flatts

Fun Fact: Lions and tigers can't purr, cougars can...They roar and scare the shit out of you instead.

Late Night Video:

The Late Night Special

Late Night Menu: Sour Cream and Onion Ruffles

Late Night Programming: Steak Paradise

Late Night Song: Alone With You by Jake Owen

Fun Fact: A man once lost his car in a parking garage for two years ringing up a sweet $3,400 tab...How do you lose your car in a parking garage?

Late Night Video:

Boob Madness: Boobment Bracket 2013 Sweet 16 Voting Coming to a Close Get Your Votes In

We have some seriously close match ups happening right now and you need to get your votes in. It's the Sweet 16 and it's coming to a close, finish up strong.

VOTE HERE: http://talkofthetown.bracketeers.com

There Are Some Stories You Can't Just Walk Into

I am under the assumption that everybody, no matter who they are has a handful stories that they cannot just casually tell people. Whether it's friends, family, or just a stranger you meet at a bar there are stories you keep to yourself because bringing them up out of nowhere would make you sound like a complete fucking weirdo.

Let's just say hypothetically that you and a friend one night went out and decided to hit on the two fattest women you could possibly find. You were both drunk, you couldn't find any good looking women in sight and you just decided it was time to pull out that harpoon and go whaling. Maybe stuff happened, maybe it didn't but you and your buddy don't talk about it unless someone brings up nothing less than a perfect segway where you and you pal won't sound like total fucking savages.

Or how about if you hypothetically walked into a room where one of your friends was banging some whore he met at a TGI Friday's. And then he told you to unzip your pants and stand in front of her and suddenly you were in the middle of the most awkward threeway you could possibly imagine. You don't talk about that unless someone mentions threesomes. That's just a story you cannot bring up in casual conversation. Something needs to lead you to it.

Whether or not you actually want to believe it, everyone has stories like this. For your information neither of these are my actual stories, they are friends stories that gave me the idea for this post. But yes, I do have stories that can't be casually told. And I know everyone reading this has a few of their own.

Sidenote: If you would like to send me one of those stories as a possible drunk story saturday please feel free to email me at hammer@talkofthetown.me

MLB Previews: AL Central

From the looks of things, it's a one horse race...

1) Detroit Tigers:

To pick against the Tigers you have to be out of your mind here. With Verlander (above), Scherzer, Fister and Sanchez they have four starters that can go up against any four in the league. This team went to the World Series last year and guess what? They bring back Victor Martinez to add to Miguel Cabrera and Prince Fielder. Their main problem will lie at the closer position, but realistically, they're good enough to win 90 games even with a closer by committee system, if it comes down to that.

2) Cleveland Indians:

Ubaldo Jimenez and Justin Masterson will lead a suspect rotation. But the additions of Nick Swisher, Mark Reynolds and Michael Bourne to Carlos Santana (above) and Asdrubal Cabrera will keep them in games because they'll score some runs. My main issue with the Indians is that I don't even know who's in that bullpen and they're most likely going to have to outscore every opponent to win games. They'll compete for a while but fade out towards the end.

3) Kansas City Royals:

James Shields and Ervin Santana give them good front of the rotation starters, and let's not forget about that Wade Davis guy. However, I don't really know what will happen with the bats. Eric Hosmer (above) and Billy Butler will lead the way but for them to contend those two are going to have to have monster years. Are they capable? I guess we'll see but I just haven't seen enough from those two to believe that it'll happen.

4) Chicago White Sox:

This one was a toss up between them and the Royals for me. Chris Sale (above) is an elite young arm but let's face the facts with this team, they're not just old, they're very old. How long can Paul Konerko keep being Paul Konerko? They really don't have much at the catching position and they're above average at best everywhere else. Barring something drastic, they add up to a .500 baseball team.

5) Minnesota Twins:

Just take a look at their roster. Outside of Joe Mauer (above) and Justin Morneau their roster is the epitome of mediocre. Sure Ron Gardenhire is a great manager but not even he can get this team to play .500 ball. That front office needs to give him some help.

In Florida Today

http://www.clickorlando.com/news/Grandmother-chaperones-elementary-school-field-trip-while-drunk-Palm-Bay-police-say/-/1637132/19453960/-/format/rss_2.0/-/9dk36q/-/index.html

Getting hammered, falling on a school bus and yelling profanities at other chaperones during an elementary school field trip is no way to go through life; old lady. Look at grandma right here, just getting shitfaced before chaperoning for little kids. Just taking two water bottles filled with vodka to the face like it ain't no thang. Bitches be running wild in Florida, especially the old bitches. Look at that face, it's got I love to get fucked up written all over it.

What Was Up This Cop's Ass?

Damn, you fucked with robo cop on the wrong day bro. I don't even know what he's yelling about but either his wife cheated on him with the guy he just arrested or he's so deep in the closet he actually lives part time in Narnia.

There's Not Enough Alcohol

 

If we were trying to be nice here we would say she's still drinking. But I'm not in the business of being nice so I'm saying there's not enough alcohol bro. Go get yourself a pocket pussy, it's gonna be your best friend until you discover the world of online dating. 

The West Coast Late Night Special

Late Night Menu: Fluffer Nutter

Late Night Programming: Happy Days

Late Night Song: Summer Jam by Jake Owen

Fun Fact: It takes ten pounds of milk to make one pound of cheese...That's a lot of milk.

Late Night Video:

The Late Night Special

Late Night Menu: Patty Melt

Late Night Programming: Bull Durham

Late Night Song: Lightning Bolt by The Wallies

Fun Fact: If you count one star a second you won't get out of your galaxy in over 2,000 years...I'd say that's quite a few stars.

Late Night Video:

Boob Madness: Boobment Bracket 2013 Sweet 16 Voting Continues

It's the Boobment Bracket Sweet 16. Keep the votes coming in.

VOTE HERE: http://talkofthetown.bracketeers.com

How Your Childhood Cereal Determined Your Success Rate in Life

 

Did you ever think about how your childhood cereal determined your success rate in life? Did you ever sit there and wonder how much your life was foreshadowed by what you ate as a kid. Well, my website developer and his buddy did and asked me to write a blog about it. So this is what I've come up with. 

Honey Smacks: They weren't that great as a kid, but the people who ate them pretty much pretended they were better than they were. Now a days this leads to them having a dead end job they don't really enjoy but they tell everyone it's the most awesome job in the world. Will most likely be looking in the mirror by the time they're 34 and wonder what they're actually doing with their life. 

Lucky Charms: You always ate them because you thought the commercials were cool. This correlated to you being extremely lazy at life and always looking for a get rich quick scheme. But you never got rich and you're waiting on the unemployment line at 28 years old still eating the same cereal that made you the loser you are today. 

Fruit Loops: They were only good because they were so fucking sweet that it gave any kid a sugar rush that made you bounce off the walls. This correlated to you going away to college, becoming a fan of house music and traveling to Miami for Ultra concerts because you don't have a job and are trying to become a famous DJ. 

Trix: You realized that they were only for kids and then you decided dealing drugs is probably a good way to go. You've become an extremely successful drug dealer telling people that you work in retail and are a "manager". But really, everyone knows what you actually do and wonders how you haven't been caught yet. 

Cap N Crunch: You're most likely a blogger with a huge penis who likes to party. 

Cheerios: Whether it be honey nut or original you were always straight edged. Always got good grades and now you have a job where you're just waiting for some old guy to die before you're making six figures at 25 years old. 

Cookie Crisp: Let's be serious and put all the pieces together. If you ate Cookie Crisp as a kid you're probably sucking dick for crack on a street corner as we speak. 

Frosted Mini Wheats: You took working hard very seriously and once you got to high school you also started taking the gym seriously. You now have a great job making at least 80 grand a year, you're STD free and you look like a Spartan warrior. 

Reese's Puffs: See Cookie Crisp. 

Cinnamon Toast Crunch: Probably the most delicious cereal in the league that now lead you on the path of becoming a gym teacher, getting off summers and holidays and coaching a sport for free on the side just to kill some spare time. 

Cocoa/Fruity Pebbles: You most likely got really into some weird ass rock music and you now work at Pathmark, have huge holes in your ears and sell crystal meth on the side. 

Kix: You're a gay guy working in the fashion industry. 

MLB Predictions: AL East

I'm extremely glad, by luck of the draw, I was able to get the AL East today. This is a great division that every single team has a legitimate chance to compete and win this division. Here's what I think.

1) Tampa Bay Rays

These guys know how to play baseball. Joe Maddon is one of the best managers in the game and this years edition of the Rays, even minus BJ Upton and James Shields, is going to be a very special group. This team is loaded in the rotation led by reigning Cy Young Winner David Price (above), followed by Jeremy Hellickson, Matt Moore, Jeff Neimann and Alex Cobb with big time prospect Chris Archer waiting in the wings. They have the best closer in the AL, maybe baseball, in Fernando Rodney. Even though there's no more Upton, the Rays have super prospect Wil Myers, who was acquired in the Shields deal, almost ready to go. Expect to see him around a similar time the Angels called up Mike Trout last year and watch Myers win the Rookie of the Year. Desmond Jennings will take over in center for Upton and is primed for a breakout season. The Rays also added Yunel Escobar to handle shortstop. These guys know what they're doing and I'm on board.

2) Toronto Blue Jays

I am usually not a fan of adding an overhaul of players and immediately expecting success. Just take a look at the Marlins and Dodgers last year. This one is very intriguing though, I'm going to drink the cool aid. I love what I saw out of Jose Reyes in the WBC, when he wants to play he's such a great commodity. The rotation looks very good with RA Dickey, Josh Johnson, Mark Buehrle, Brandon Morrow and last years ace, Ricky Romero. Health is the issue with the rotation, Johnson and Morrow are those question marks. The bullpen, although lacking a legit closer, is very good. Keep an eye on Steve Delabar to possibly be the eventual closer. Guy throws a hard, hard, hard sinker and gets a lot of strikeouts. The offense should be very good, Jose Bautista (above) has to come back from last seasons wrist injury and continue to drop bombs. Edwin Encarnacion needs to show last year wasn't a fluke and Brett Lawrie needs to show he's as good as we thought he could be. This is the Jays time, they're definitely going for it.

3) Baltimore Orioles

I can't figure out how I feel about the Orioles. I really want to say they were a fluke because that offense they put out in the playoffs was despicable and there's no way the patchwork of starting pitching will hold up again. But watching them in spring training a couple times, I'm not so sure anymore and it's because of three players. First is the return of second basemen Brian Roberts (above), this guy can play on my team any day. He wasn't around for almost all of last year, if he can stay healthy he can give them the leadoff man they lacked last season and really be the leader, that Adam Jones shouldn't have to handle. The other two are mega pitching prospects Dylan Bundy and Kevin Gausman. The Orioles have been down this road before with Jake Arrieta, Brian Matusz and Chris Tillman, but everything you hear about Gausman and Bundy is that they are can't miss. Bundy was being touted last year as a once in a generation type and today I heard scouts saying Gausman, last years #1 pick, might have past Bundy. The Orioles didn't have any big time top of the rotation arms last year. I think we're going to see Bundy and Gausman this season and if they hit the ground running the Orioles might once again be contending.

4) Boston Red Sox

What parallel universe are we living in, that the Red Sox and Yankees are in the cellar? I'll get to the Yankees in a second but first the BoSox. I'm going to be pretty blunt here, beside the trade for closer Joel Hanrahan, I hated every move the Red Sox made this offseason. I understand what they were trying to do, but Mike Napoli didn't officially sign with this team for over a month because of the hip problem, that's a big problem to me. I really hated the Shane Victorino deal, way too much money for a guy who has rapidly deteriorated. He was embarrassing in the WBC and hasn't looked any better since returning for the rest of the spring. Now he's also blocking a spot for prospect Jackie Bradley Jr who has been tearing it up this spring. They gave Jonny Gomes way too much money and somehow they expect a 4th outfielder type, DH type to handle left field at Fenway. Stephen Drew at shortstop is just a stop gap for either Jose Iglesias or more likely Xander Boegaerts. I like that John Farrell is the manager, when they return to winning ways, he's going to be the guy leading them but right now the Red Sox just don't have a clue in the front office. I do expect Jon Lester (above) to have a very good season, he's too good to put up the numbers he has the past couple of seasons.

5) New York Yankees

You Yankee fans can say whatever you want, this team is fucked. This team's season is hanging on a guy who went 4 for 40 in the postseason last year, a 43 year old closer coming off major knee surgery, an ace coming off two surgeries in 18 months and a 38 year old shortstop coming off a broken ankle. There's no catcher, first baseman, shortstop, third baseman or center fielder for at least the first month of the season, all season at catcher. Where is the hope? Cano can't hit a home run every time. Can this team do it though? Absolutely, but the offense needs to completely change with what will be in place. We can't sit back and wait for the 3 run home run anymore. If the Yankees think Travis Hafner, Kevin Youkilis and Vernon Wells are going to handle that game then the window isn't just closing, it's been replaced.

LeBron James At It Again, This Time the Victim is Some Poor White Dude on the Magic

This poor guy had no chance against LeBron last night on this one. Even worse for him was that he was wearing LeBron's dick like a parrot on his shoulder. That's just straight up degrading.

In Florida Today

http://www.nwfdailynews.com/local/crime/police-blotters/lawmen-say-man-didn-t-return-car-so-he-could-continue-binge-of-drugs-and-alcohol-1.115726

Well lesson one here would go out to the actual car owner. Maybe don't give your car to a drug addict so he could "test your brakes". Because then 27 hours later you're looking around wondering where the fuck this guy is with your car and he's nowhere to be found because he's continuing what he calls his "drugs and alcohol binge". Basically this guy went on a 27 hour bender with someone else's car and is now being charged with grand theft auto. It's his drug and alcohol binge and he'll steal a car if he wants to. Zero fucks given.

When Road Rage Gets Real

A road rage fight and the guy who gets his ass kicked pulls a gun. Which part of this is not classy?


VOTE FOR BOOBMENT BRACKET 2013 SWEET 16: http://talkofthetown.bracketeers.com

A Hair Piece For The Ages

 

Shout out to Tom for this one. This is a man's man right here. Just totally rockin' the mullet and not giving a shit who sees. He's got a tiny smirk on his face just knowing the paparazzi is behind him snapping pics and talking shit. But he doesn't care, because dudes who rock mullets have the biggest balls in the league.

VOTE FOR BOOBMENT BRACKET 2013 SWEET 16: http://talkofthetown.bracketeers.com

The West Coast Late Night Special

Late Night Menu: Fritos

Late Night Programming: Legally Blonde

Late Night Song: This by Darius Rucker

Fun Fact: Sweden has a ski-thru McDonald's...That's absurd, but I love it.

Late Night Video:

The Late Night Special

Late Night Menu: Dorito Locos Taco (Cool Ranch Edition)

Late Night Programming: 61*

Late Night Song: Easy by Rascal Flatts

Fun Fact: A potatoes closest edible relative is the eggplant...And they both taste delicious deep fried.

Late Night Video: