Mets Bullpen, You Are A Joke

Here we go again, the fucking bullpen just blowing games left and right. We all know of my hatred for K-Rod so I’m not even going to waste my breath on that fucking guy. Instead, I’ll talk about the jokes of this bullpen, which is pretty much the entire thing.

First, Blaine Boyer who the fuck are you? Why are you on my team? And why is your beard the same as Peter Griffin’s in the Bird Is The Word Family Guy episode? I don’t know why you keep being put into games because you’re fucking awful. I don’t even want to tell you to throw strikes because when you do they get absolutely pissed on.

Next, if you’re going to sit there and tell me you can’t find a better lefty that Tim fucking Byrdak than I’m going to tell you that you didn’t look hard enough. He is also awful, please get him off my team.

Hey Igarashi, go make fucking sushi bro and get off my field. Here’s a clue, when the shift is on, don’t throw a fucking outside pitch so the hitter can find the one fucking hole in the infield. Oh yeah, and can we make a throw to the catcher on a ground ball back to the mound?

Speaking of not being able to throw it right back to the catcher, my new scapegoat, Bobby Parnell. Hey bro, you throw 97mph, there is no reason guys should be hitting 400 foot home runs like they’re facing a batting practice pitcher. You’ve had like 4 years to figure this shit out and you can’t. Go to AAA and have a nice career, because I can’t watch you pitch another inning in the major’s.

I know we have way more guys who suck, but these are my four favorite other than K-Rod. I can’t talk about K-Rod because it would take me ten pages to talk about that fucking joke. Going to be a long season in Flushing with disasters like this being rolled out there every fucking night. If you’re not blackout drunk by the 6^th, I feel terrible for you.

“They are a fucking disgrace”- Johnny Baseball…Yes Johnny, they are a fucking disgrace.