Assistant Drama Coach Found In Backseat Of A Car With Student...

 

http://www.newsnet5.com/dpp/news/local_news/akron_canton_news/police-green-middle-school-drama-instructor-arrested-after-found-in-car-with-partially-clothed-teen 

If you've been found in the backseat of your car with a half naked fourteen year old girl who just so happens to be one of your drama students, you probably look a lot like this guy. Apparently this guy right here is the assistant drama coach at this middle school. I didn't know there was such thing as drama coaches and I didn't know that drama coaches needed assistants. Regardless, making moves on your fourteen year old students all while having that horrible haircut and sweet chin beard is no way to go through life sir. Unless she didn't have eyesight, I'm pretty sure this was against her will. You better load up on the liquid soap because your ass is going right to prison. 

Drunk Dude Beats Up Crippled Dude Over Playboy Magazine Leaving Everyone Scratching Their Heads

 

http://www.wtsp.com/news/watercooler/article/249347/58/Man-beaten-up-over-Playboy 

If you're beating up handicapped crippled 24 year old's then you probably look a lot like this guy. I mean come on bro, how much do you have to drink to absolutely beat the living piss out of your girlfriends crippled son over a fucking Playboy Magazine? Like I mean you're already banging this kids mom, now you're just adding insult to injury by beating the shit out of him and giving him a seizure. And it's Playboy, it's not like this is a hardcore porn DVD. Playboy barely even shows vagina. Just go online to a porn site bro, how fucking hard is that. Although with your current track record I would assume you're the guy looking up porn and masturbating in the back of the public library. 

If You're Passing Around A Male Student At Your High School For Sexual Pleasure You Probably Look Like These Guys

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2110311/North-Putnam-High-School-3-teachers-arrested-child-seduction-charges.html 

Good teaching, giving a student passing grades. Bad teaching, passing around a student. These three just pulling a Jerry Sandusky and passing around a sixteen year old kid. Were you all just standing in the hallway thinking out loud and at the same time you all just said, "You know it would be a great idea if we all just ran the train on that kid,"? Just so you know, your assholes are going to be murdered when you get to prison for this shit. Wait, and it gets better. When the first fucking asshole to the left up top met the kid, he started texting him and sending him dick pics. Is this what happens when you're a creep who can't get any pussy whatsoever? You just turn to teenage boys and pass him off to your friends? I can't wait until a huge 300 pound guy named like Malik or something like that gets you three in jail. Don't pass go, and don't collect the $200, just go directly to jail. And liquid soap isn't gonna help you three wiener looking mother fuckers. 

If You're Dealing Drugs And Running A Prostitution Ring, You Probably Look Like These People

 

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/crime/os-daytona-strip-club-prostitution-20120301,0,324305.story 

Now I don't know how much money these prostitutes were going for, but it couldn't have been that much. I wouldn't bang any of these women with Tom Green's dick. Not only were they running a prostitution ring inside, they were dealing drugs in this strip club as well. Classy joint. You know it's classy when a detective says if he was a cockroach he wouldn't want to live there. I don't know what's a worse evaluation. Saying that you look like Roseanne Barr or saying that a cockroach couldn't live in your place of work. I think I would rather take people thinking I look like Roseanne. Also, geniuses, how many undercover cops do you have to sell drugs to before you realize something's up? Is business that booming that you don't realize the influx of new people coming to buy drugs from you? Before I finish, is the man in the top right hand corner one of the ugliest human beings you have ever seen? I'm going to go with a resounding yes. On a lighter note I now have a new skepticism on strip clubs. 

If You're Driving With A Sex Toy In Your Ass You Probably Look Like This Guy...

 

http://blogs.tcpalm.com/off_the_beat_will_greenlee_blog/2012/02/a-driver-with-a-sexual.html 

Is it gay to drive with a sex toy up your ass? I'm gonna say yes because why would any straight guy be driving with anything in his ass. Personally, my ass is an exit only doorway so I really can't see this being particularly straight to begin with. Now, if I had to pick a guy driving with a sex toy up his ass it would be this guy. Checkout that mug, it has "dildo in my ass" written all over it. But wait, it gets better. Not only did he have a dildo up his ass while he was driving, but he rear ended another driver because his blood alcohol level was five times the legal limit. Now isn't that ironic. Just a gay dude who loves to party with sex objects up his ass. And then to finish it all off, he pulled out his ass plug in the back of the patrol car and soiled himself on the way to the police station. Dude just really not giving a fuck just shitting his pants in the back seat of a cop car. You gotta love the intensity this guy brings to the table. He'll be in heaven in the state penitentiary where he won't need an ass plug because he'll have the real thing when he becomes Bubba's bitch.