If you're hammered drunk and you get into a fight there's probably a good chance that you shouldn't call the cops to report the fight you were in while you are driving home drunk. Then you probably shouldn't tell them that they can find you waiting on your lawn sitting in a chair. Because they will come, they will breathalyze you, and you will blow a .285 and get charged with drunk driving. .285 at 5:10 in the evening, now that's impressive.
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