Walmart Shopper Wednesdays

 

I realize that I'm going to hell for this, but is that a remote control toilet? That would be the greatest invention ever, and she could be the ginny pig. Just hang a little toilet paper roll underneath that steering wheel and it's pure genius. Don't any of you mother fuckers steal that I have proof right here that I came up with it first. So you would lose in court. Moving on, I feel terrible for the little kid that probably had the pleasure of watching her stand up. A crack like that will scar anyone for life. 

Walmart Shopper Wednesdays

Hey, anyone who reads this blog regularly knows that I have been doing my very best as of late to lay off the fat chicks. But I'm sorry I just couldn't help myself with this one. If her spine is supposed to be the body of that butterfly then that's the fattest butterfly I've ever seen. Let's just add to this that she has armpit tits and now it's a party. She literally brings a new meaning to hump day and I love every second of it. Give me a keg and some acid and I'm all over that shit.

Walmart Shopper Wednesdays

At first I thought this was a hillbilly wedding but then I looked around and realized it was just a hillbilly dressed as Elvis performing in Walmart. I wonder if that mic is actually hooked up to speakers or if he's just singing to absolutely nobody. Judging by the lady in the tie-dye shirt in the back it seems like no one's really too interested. For the first time ever it looks like Elvis isn't bringing down the house. Lastly, is that a bra you're wearing?

Walmart Shopper Wednesdays

She must have a big meeting today. That's my only reasoning I could see for her wearing a tie. I have to say that I absolutely love the hat too. Fat arms and polka dot neon ties, that's what Walmart does.

Walmart Shopper Wednesday's

I am woman hear me...Roark? What the fuck does that even mean? Oh, and judging by the section you're in I think you should skip over the magazines and junk food and go to maybe the vegetable section. That's just an analysis, but what the fuck do I know right? I can actually see my knees when I look down. And my god is your ass getting an all you can eat buffet right now; just completely eating the shit out of those pajama pants. Isn't Walmart the greatest place on the planet?

Walmart Shopper Wednesday's

 

What all you people are probably looking at as disgusting I'm looking at as just as disgusting but I am totally loving the enthusiasm this bitch brings to the table right now. You think she cares what size she is? No, she's all about just strolling through Walmart in clothes that don't fit her because she's gonna pick up a toothless 400 pound man who hunts raccoons for a living and live happily ever after. So you go be sexy to the hard core hun, you're just doing you. Happy fucking hump day. 

Walmart Shopper Wednesday's

Alright bro like seriously, where is your cock? Is it even existent? There is no chance on this earth that any guy can wear this without their cock and balls just dangling all out of the bottom. And if this was option number one, what was option number two? Like really, if you decided on this then what was the other option. Yo Gabba Gabba feety pajamas and a viking helmet? I can just see you now just like trying on the pajamas and putting on the viking helmet, taking a look in the mirror and going, "Nah man this looks ridiculous, I'm gonna go with the dick choking overalls." And that handicapped stall behind you has your name written all over it. They shouldn't even have the handicapped sign there it should just be a picture of you smiling. Don't you just love Wednesday's?

Walmart Shopper Wednesday's

 

Why do I feel like this should be a national monument to all rednecks somewhere in like Alabama? I mean this is beautiful. The all american vest, just the vest, with his dog on his shoulder and that shit eating grin on his face. All that's missing is his shotgun, a spitter for his chewing tobacco and a fucking can of PBR. Only at Walmart could you find the All American Redneck and I love every second of it. This guy needs his own fucking t-shirt just for this picture. 

Walmart Shopper Wednesday's

 

The very first thing I need to know is what is in that refrigerator that is making her so happy? The second thing I need to know is what kind of mirrors are in her house that she thought to herself, "Damn, I look good." And the last thing I need to know is if that is a mustache that she has under her nose. I'm not exactly what you would call a fashion aficionado here but I'm pretty positive that the two piece bathing suit was not made for you. I will say this though, you are the exact replica of what John Kruk would look like dressed as a woman for Halloween. Very nicely done. Too bad it's only August and nobody wants to see you in anything other than a heavy winter coat. But I'll give you some credit, your lady humps are the perfect fit for hump day. 

Sidenote: Look at the guy behind her. He's trying to hard to look away but he just can't keep himself from staring. Not only that but he also looks absolutely scarred for life. And for you ladies out there reading this if you don't know who John Kruk is, google image him and you'll know who I'm talking about. 

Walmart Shopper Wednesday's

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