Monday, January 2, 2012

Why Tim Tebow Sucks Today...

 
Why Tim Tebow Sucks Today...

Well, for those of you who didn't know, Tim Tebow sucks today because he actually lost yesterday and his team still somehow backed their way into the playoffs. He had a hell of a game though, 6 for 22 60 yards and an interception; we call that "lighting up the defense". I mean do you all really still think he's good? Have you watched him throw the football? This guy makes Mark Sanchez look like a gun slinger. Oh, and as I said earlier in the week, Kyle Orton went into Denver and beat the almighty. And he's still a winner though right? Even though he's lost three in a row? Good, as long as we have that clarified. My next question is how bad is Brady Quinn if he can't start over Tebow? In order to be Tebow's backup I thought you needed some type of disability, or just no arms and legs. And also, I won my bet with Australian Carl that Tebow would lose to the Chiefs. Start working out the kinks on your scripture reading Carl, it's gonna be a rough day preaching in the ferry terminal. It's funny, my twitter blows up when Tebow wins, but when he loses it's all quiet on the Tebow train. I love every minute of it. I can't wait to watch the Steelers defense rip this little altar boy to shreds next weekend, and then we can put to rest that this guy is an NFL starter, and you can all stop hearing from me about why he sucks. Have a great day. 

Asshole Of The Day Award

 

If you're going to try and bribe a police officer out of getting arrested, I'm pretty sure offering him tickets to the Jets vs Dolphins season finale is definitely not the way to go. The officer actually responded with, "Jets vs Dolphins tickets aren't worth a damn." And he's right. Two shit teams playing a meaningless game is not the way to get out of an arrest. Maybe if you had something worth something such as Super Bowl tickets, he would have thought about letting you go. You couldn't get me to go to a Jets vs Dolphins game if you offered me Mila Kunis living with me as a sex slave for a year. Just not gonna happen. Here's your t-shirt you giant Asshole and congratulations of being the first Asshole of the Day for 2012. 

Using Your Head...

 
This isn't one of those funny videos, this is just entertaining. I mean really, look at this. This is using your fucking head. All of you are sitting there saying, "Oh yeah, I would have definitely thought of this in this situation," but realistically, no you wouldn't have. It's just genius people with awesome accents thinking outside the box, or inside the vending machine, whichever one you wanna call it. What is also pathetic is that I couldn't find another video today to top this one since everything is either old and outdated, or it sucks. So we'll live with this one for today since it does make you chuckle and use your head if you're ever in a situation like this one. 

Monday: Movie Clip Of The Week

 
Besides the fact that Keanu Reeves has made a career off of having absolutely zero talent, this scene from the Replacements is one of my favorite scenes probably ever. It gets the week going because it's Monday and we all need to try and survive the rest of this week, just like every week. Enjoy your day off, watch some college football and some winter classic, and relax a little bit before you have to go back to work tomorrow. 

Sunday, January 1, 2012

The Late Night Special

 
Late Night Menu: Eggplant Parm

Late Night Movie: Any Given Sunday

Late Night Song: Let's Go by Travis Barker ft. Yelawolf, Twista, Busta Rhymes and Lil John

Fun Fact: The Giants beat the Cowboys twice this season and won the NFC East...Yeah, that just happened. 

Late Night Video:

                                          

Giants Beat Cowboys 31-14 Win NFC East...

 
Is this a face of disgust or constipation? Or maybe it's just that sick to your stomach look that you get when you watch something horrifying happening. Whatever it is, I can just look at this picture of Jerry Jones over and over again and smile knowing that his Cowboys are going home and the G-Men are moving on. Yes, I know that the Giants will probably lose to the Falcons at home next week but I really don't care. They're going to the playoffs and as long as they're there, there's always a chance. If Tuck, Osi and JPP are all healthy and playing like they did in the first half tonight, watch out. They can play with anyone. But they could also lose to the girl scouts. Either way, next Sunday at 1pm at Metlife/Giants Stadium the journey continues. Let's get it done. 

Sidenote: If this picture hasn't gone viral by 10am tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be so disappointed in you Townies who read this thing. 

NFL Picks Week 17

In what seemed to be a done deal, and 0-5 week by Slothy combined with a 5-0 week by Daddy (Steve the Hammer) in week 15 has put this thing down to the wire...

Standings (by win pct.)


Jimbo Slice 31-17 (.646)
Quite Frank-ly 30-18 (.625)
Slothy 33-20 (.623)
Steve the Hammer 30-23 (.566)

Week 17 Games

Quite Frank-ly:

Bengals vs Ravens: Ravens

Broncos vs Chiefs: Broncos

Titans vs Texans: Texans

Raiders vs Chargers: Chargers

Giants vs Cowboys: Giants

Slothy:

Bengals vs Ravens: Ravens

Broncos vs Chiefs: Chiefs

Raiders vs Chargers: Raiders

Titans vs Texans: Texans

Giants vs Cowboys: Giants

Jimbo Slice:

Bengals vs Ravens: Ravens

Broncos vs Chiefs: Broncos

Raiders vs Chargers: Chargers

Titans vs Texans: Texans

Giants vs Cowboys: Giants

Daddy:

Bengals vs Ravens: Bengals

Broncos vs Chiefs: Chiefs

Raiders vs Chargers: Raiders

Titans vs Texans: Titans

Giants vs Cowboys: Cowboys