In the 30 Seconds of the Grammys I Saw, I Learned That Taylor Swift is Definitely Awful in Bed

I only watched about 30 seconds of the Grammys last night because I was busy and I don't particularly give a flying fuck about the show. However, in that 30 second span of watching it there were two separate four second moments that showed America that Taylor Swift is without a doubt absolutely horrendous in bed.

How do I know this from seeing a total of eight seconds of her? It's easy. What is the number one predictor of how good a woman is in bed? How well she dances. I'm pretty sure it was during the Bruno Mars, Sting and Rihanna act that was going on where they showed her at first looking so out of rhythm I almost threw up in my mouth. If you saw this, you know what I'm talking about.

Then the crowd started clapping along to the beat. Again they showed Taylor Swift in the crowd and she was literally clapping off beat. She was so far behind the crowd with her claps it was embarrassing. Are we to believe that a woman who can't even clap to the beat of a song could possibly be good in bed? Absolutely not.

This seals the deal for us as to why Taylor Swift has been through so many boyfriends. She's awful in bed. She's most likely a dead fish who doesn't know what to do with a penis. Is it her fault? At this point in her life, yes. You need to have rhythm at anything you do in life and other than singing, Taylor Swift doesn't have any. Taylor Swift is awful in bed, and the Grammys confirmed it last night.