If anyone reading this is unaware a massive snow storm hit the East Coast on Friday, please e-mail us ASAP because that means we are starting to get fans from outside New England. For everyone else, I hope you thoroughly enjoyed an adult day off, which is like staying home from school only better because there's alcohol. Or if you're like me and laughed hysterically when your boss e-mailed you to request you come into work "if you feel safe." No sir, I will only drive to work in a blizzard if I am Channing Tatum's fluffer, otherwise go fuck yourself. But I realized that instead of staying home and getting hammered with my roommates, I should have sat outside with a camera to document the ridiculous shit I saw going on in the storm. Here I present to you, the good and the bad, crazy stuff people do in a storm:
1.) Buy out the grocery store: Ok, I will admit I am the first one that likes to stock up on snack food when a big storm is coming, but that's only because I delude myself into thinking that being stuck inside for more than 5 hours makes it okay for me to eat my way through the entire line of Frito-Lay products (wrong). That being said why the fuck are people acting like a storm will wipe out food for like, the rest of the year? There is no need for people to be stocking up on T.V. dinners and 8,000lbs of rice. How are you going to cook that anyways? I did learn something valuable from this storm though. If there ever IS a massive storm that clears out grocery stores for a few weeks, I'm going to go around town and rob any house with a minivan because those are the types of assholes that buy out all the food.
2.) Run and/or bike in the snow: Living in Boston, I see people running in all kids of crazy weather and usually I am one of them. A little rain or snow is fine but you look like a complete asshole running in a blizzard. How do I know? I ran on ice the other day because I was one of the idiots that decided it "wasn't that bad." It was, and I fell on my ass about 8 times. I also understand that the people who bike in Boston think they are above traffic laws, but you are not above mother nature. Red lights might not stop you people but 10 inches of snow should.
3.) People who snowboard to the bar: Unlike the two groups of people above, these people are awesome and I want to be their friend. I absolutely love living in a city where a massive snow storm means you get to a bar any way you can, and everyone in that bar shares a sense of comradery for having weathered the storm in the sole purpose of getting absolutely shit faced drunk. The people who role up to bars with snowboards are the equivalent to insanely hot chicks on any other weekend. Everyone wants to be them and/or buy them a drink for just being that cool.
4.) Girl, what are you WEARING? If there is an excuse to drink, there is an excuse to wear bad clothing. This was my number one pet peeve this weekend. I saw so many girls walking to the bar in what was an obvious attempt to look sexy in winter gear. Oh, I didn't realize Forever 21 tights and a jean skirt is appropriate snow attire. Ladies, a snow weekend is not a weekend you try to look "cute." It's a weekend where you punch the air in jubilation that you can wear snow boots and sweatpants to a bar.
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