Things Just Keep Getting Better For the Jets, Mike Goodson Arrested on Drugs and Weapons Charges

 

http://espn.go.com/new-york/nfl/story/_/id/9286124/mike-goodson-new-york-jets-arrested-drug-weapons-charges 

It's not almost comical, at this point it's incredibly comical. After signing running back Mike Goodson to a 3 year $6.9 million deal the Jets now have a decision to make as Goodson was arrested on drugs and weapons charges in New Jersey Friday morning. Not that I actually think this guy is "the answer" at running back for them but they just can't catch a break. Honestly, you can't feel bad for a team that doesn't do their homework and doesn't sign high character guys. Their number one cornerback has 25 kids with 15 different women, their "quarterback of the future" actually responds to critics on twitter and now their "big" free agent signing is a convict. Oh, and their coach has a foot fetish. Even though Tebow is gone the circus is definitely still in town. I can watch this shit all day every day and twice on Sundays. 

There is Nothing I Love More Than Being Right...

Last night as I watched the second half of the Knicks game all I could do was sit there and smile. Why?  Because there really is nothing that I love more than being right. All you Knicks fans sent me hate mail and tried telling me just how little I actually know about basketball when I said that the Knicks couldn't win a championship with the way they play. I said they can't win because they don't rebound, they're not physical and they rely too much on the jump shot and the three ball. Sound like something you've been watching against Indiana?

The reason Indiana has dominated this series is because of everything I just mentioned. They're more physical than the Knicks, they're destroying the Knicks on the boards, and the Pacers are taking away the three ball while making them settle for jump shots. All of this adds up to a 3-1 series lead for the Pacers. And as much as I would like to say blame Melo, you can't put it all on him the poor guy is getting ZERO help from anyone else around him.

Tyson Chandler hasn't left the Boston series, the dude has been non existent. Raymond Felton has been below average at best and J.R. Smith the 6th Man of the Year might as well shoot blind folded right now the way he's playing. Jason Kidd and Pablo Prigioni are giving them nothing and Mike Woodson has gone completely away from Steve Novak. Add this to an inefficient Melo and you can see why the Knicks can't get out of their own way.

If the Knicks can somehow find the three ball (which I don't think the Pacers will allow) they have a punchers chance in the series. But if they look anything like they've looked the last two games this series is just about over. They'll need more than Melo to force a game 6. But if you would like to send apologies and now be my friend I will tell you to shove it up your ass. I have enough friends, you want a friend then get a dog. Letting the Knicks prove me right has been good enough for me.

Sidenote: I'm busy with a new job that actually pays me so the blog will be taking a back seat for a while. I apologize but it's the way it has to be. I can't be blogging for free for the rest of my life or I'll be that loser living in my parents basement until I'm 32.

The Late Night Special

Late Night Menu: Philly Cheesesteak

Late Night Programming: Kings vs Sharks

Late Night Song: With Rome by Sublime

Fun Fact: Being ignored can actually drive you slightly crazy...That would explain some crazy women.

Late Night Video:

NHL Playoffs: Where I Was Right, Where I Was Wrong Round 1

 

With Round 1 of the NHL Playoffs officially over it's time to show where I was right and where I was wrong with my predictions for round one. 

Where I Was Right: I said no 8 seeds would be knocking off 1's this year. The Blackhawks took care of the Wild in 5 and the Penguins took care of the Islander in 6. 

Where I Was Wrong: Both San Jose and Toronto who I said would be going home early made me look like a total moron. San Jose swept Vancouver to move on to the second round and Toronto was eight minutes away from pulling the upset over Boston in Game 7. I wasn't just wrong, I was dead wrong. 

Where I Was Right: Sleeper teams. I said the Rangers would be the sleeper in the East solely because of Lundqvist and I said the Red Wings would be the sleeper in the West. Both teams came back from 3-2 holes to win games 6 and 7 and advance to round two. 

Round Two Predictions:

Penguins over Senators in 6

Bruins over Rangers in 6

Red Wings over Blackhawks in 7

Kings over Sharks in 7

In Florida Today

http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/Miami-Beach-Man-Tied-Wandering-12-Year-Old-Son-to-Pole-Outside-Home-Police-207213531.html

Kids are so soft these days. Back in my day when kids used to do something wrong, if their parents tied them to a pole to teach them a lesson nobody called the cops and complained about it. The kid was wandering around without telling his dad, what did you want the dad to do? Just say everything was cool and let him do it again? This dad ain't about that, he's about teaching a lesson. And now he's going to probably go to jail even though the son says it's his own fault. America just getting softer and softer by the day.

Now It's Viral...

You tried to go viral with the Harlem Shake five months after it was cool. And then you got a fucking face full of desk. How'd it taste bitch? You deserved every minute of that.

Boom, Roasted

 

No better way to find out you have an STD than by finding out from someone else who banged the person who gave you that STD. Boom, roasted. 

In Florida Today

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/breakingnews/os-smoke-weed-erryday-sign-20130512,0,5562535.story

Only in Florida would teenagers be able to hack into the traffic system and change what is on the electronic traffic signs to notify drivers to "Smoke Weed Erryday". What a terrible attempt at spelling as well here. Weed may not affect your motor skills but apparently it affects your spelling because that is absolutely atrocious. It's also incredibly stupid to put that on a traffic sign. Your attempt at being funny is overlooked at your stupidity. I award you no points and may god have mercy on your soul.

Just a Bro Trying to Get on TV During the Rangers and Capitals Game 6 Intermission

Either he's drunk, stupid, or both. This just proves that people actually believe the best thing that you can be in 2013 is famous. He's trying to be remembered for his antics during the intermission but I'll just remember him for his unoriginal dance moves and non athleticism.

That's Straightforward...

Well that's awfully straightforward sweetheart. When was the last time you got laid?

The Late Night Special

Late Night Menu: Blueberry Pie

Late Night Programming: Ducks vs Red Wings Game 7

Late Night Song: Shake That Ass For Me by Eminem

Fun Fact: In 1997 685 kids in Japan were rushed to the hospital after a Pokemon episode caused dizziness, vomiting and seizures...Fucking Pokemon

Late Night Video:

Sit On My Face Sundays

Eva Mendes

VS

Alice Eve

Who Would You Rather Have Sit On Your Face?
	Eva Mendes
	Alice Eve
pollcode.com free polls

This one was due to a special request from a fan. All I really have to say about this one is whack away gentlemen, whack away. 

The Late Night Special

Late Night Menu: Strawberry Greek Yogurt

Late Night Programming: South Park

Late Night Song: Lean Back by Fat Joe

Fun Fact: There is a psychological condition where people can't sleep, work or concentrate because a song is stuck in their head...Yup, have had that happen before.

Late Night Video:

Urban Dictionary Find of the Day

Clutch Oven: 

To fart in a car full of people, crank the heat for maximum effectiveness.

Mike was driving us to Jake's party and he farted, trapping us in his clutch oven

Instant Karma

How'd that floor taste bro? You wanna be an asshole, this is what's gonna happen to you. Instant Karma just shoving it right up your ass.

Jaguars Fans Join the Tebow Sucks Bandwagon

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/9257751/jacksonville-jaguars-fans-signing-tim-tebow-start-website-own

Since the Jaguars are tired of talking about the possibility of Tim Tebow being in a Jacksonville uniform next season it turns out the fans are tired of it as well. Just how tired of it are they? They created this website http://evenifhesreleased.com/ showing all the fans who say they don't need Tim Tebow. Now it's over 500,000 at this point and I had absolutely no idea there were that many Jaguar fans in the world but they apparently see what everyone else sees. Tim Tebow cannot play quarterback in the NFL. I mean if fans of a team who suck this bad don't even want you, your career has plummeted. Sorry Timmy, if you want to play football you're gonna have to go to Canada or just get a real fucking job like the rest of us. Maybe even become a priest since you "don't have sex" with your really hot girlfriend anyway. I think the Tebow saga is officially over. When the Jaguars don't even want you, you must really suck.

In Florida Today

http://www.mypalmbeachpost.com/news/news/mother-son-question-how-senior-prank-during-jupite/nXm3B/?icmp=pbp_internallink_textlink_apr2013_pbpstubtomypbp_launch

Apparently being a criminal now consists of wearing pantyhose on your head and spraying silly string at people. At least that is according to Florida police. This kid and his four friends crashed a powder puff game wearing pantyhose and spraying silly string and then football players and school employees didn't know what they were spraying so they went after the four idiots. Since a school employee got sprayed in the face with silly string and "feared for his well being" the kid who sprayed him got arrested. Do we need anymore proof that America is softer than baby shit because of assholes like the guy who "feared for his well being". It was silly string bro, calm the fuck down.

It's Friday, So Here's A Stoned Golden Retriever

If you can't laugh at this then you're just a miserable person.

Classy Broads...

These are the women who claim men don't respect them. And they wonder why...

The West Coast Late Night Special

Late Night Menu: Buffalo Wings

Late Night Programming: How It's Made

Late Night Song: Smooth by Carlos Santana and Rob Thomas

Fun Fact: If you spell out consecutive numbers you would have to go up to one thousand to find the letter a...Never realized that.

Late Night Video: