"Sarah Says" Shut It Down Bro

Shut it Down, Bro

Did you guys ever see the episode of 30 Rock in which Liz Lemon starts on her own show called Dealbreakers? Oh, you haven’t? That’s a shame. Basically, people tell her their relationship problems and she tells them to “Shut it down.” Well, here’s a handy guide from your best girl friend about when to shut it down with a girl you’re dating.

She’s Always Late

Does she make you wait more than five minutes to leave when you pick her up for a date? Shut it down. It’s disrespectful and rude. I know this is a “thing” girls do, but I don’t approve of it. When I have a date I prepare in advance. My outfit is picked out that morning and my face and hair are fixed a few hours before pick-up time. A woman should be so excited to go out on a date with you that the idea of waiting even an extra minute to go out seems horrible to her.

She Bitches About Everything, A Lot

You’ll see I added the “A Lot” addendum because all girls bitch. It’s just a fact of life. It’s nice of you to be supportive of her need to vent and nod along at all the appropriate times, but don’t stand for more. If the girl you’re dating spends the entire time complaining, she’s seriously lacking in the substance department. Your girl should have something to say about as many subjects as possible or at least some semblance of an opinion. If she doesn’t, you’re missing out. Shut it down.

She Cakes Her Makeup On

A woman with pancake makeup is hiding her face, not accentuating it. I may be alone in this opinion but I feel that accepting how you look instead of changing it is a sexy sort of confidence. There are parts of my face that I don’t like, but I’ve accepted this. I never go out of my way to “contour,” “shade,” and “angle” my face to oblivion. If you’re with a girl that wears that much makeup, she’s seriously lacking in the confidence department. Shut it down, bro. She’ll need you to validate her looks every minute of every day, and that’s not healthy.

She Can’t Laugh at Herself

If you’ve been reading my Talk of the Town column, you’ll know that self-deprecation is my specialty. I have a lot of flaws but I don’t beat myself up over them. We all make mistakes and if the girl you’re with can’t laugh at herself, you’re in for a boatload of trouble. (You’ll note I said “boatload” and not “ buttload.” Clearly, I’m keeping it classy this week.) A sense of humor is so important and a girl who takes herself too seriously will suck all the levity from your time spent together. Shut it down.

And there you have it guys. I’m sure I could have condensed this post to a single sentence – She’s confident in herself and respectful of you. If she’s missing any of these two crucial – and simple – qualities, shut it down, bro. Shut. It. Down.

Sarah is the founder of Not the It Girls. You can contact her at sarah@nottheitgirls.com.