"Sarah Says" Women Are Like Cheeseburgers

Sarah is our contributor from Not the It Girls. She will be contributing to us every Wednesday with "Sarah Says" giving you a nice dose of estrogen to go with your week. I will be doing the same thing on their site (http://nottheitgirls.com) to give them a nice little dose of testosterone. Every Wednesday Talk of the Town teams with Not the It Girls for the greatest merger since the actual merger. Don't miss out.  Also, don't forget to follow them on twitter @nottheitgirls

Since we were kids, we have platitudes about femininity thrown at us from all directions. Women are like flowers. Women are rare gems. Women are like porcelain dolls. But that’s all wrong. You were taught wrong. Women are like cheeseburgers.

I’ll politely sidestep the obvious oral sex connotations you are all making in your head right now and jump right into it. Let’s start with the meat. The perfect cheeseburger is grilled to a beautiful, delicious medium rare. Soft on the inside, but sturdy on the outside. (Get your head out of the gutter, boys, I’m still not talking about vaginas.) When you grill your burgers, you grill them delicately. But then you eat them with the viciousness of a t-rex. Women are like that, too. Sure, we’re delicate and beautiful and lovely creatures but we have fire, and t-rex strength within us. Every single one of us. Even me, and I’m barely pushing 5’1”.

Let’s move on. A cheeseburger isn’t complete without cheese, obviously. Doesn’t matter what kind of cheese – American, Swiss, Cheddar, Monterey Jack, it’s gotta have cheese. And the best kinds of girls are filled with cheese – a cheesy, goofy sense of humor with the ability to laugh at themselves and never take themselves too seriously. You know what I’m talking about – the girls whose Facebook photos don’t all look exactly the same. (Head tilted, arm on the waist, half a smile.) Find a girl with your favorite kind of cheese. (Sense of humor, if the metaphor hasn’t hit you yet.)

And now the toppings. There are so many different toppings that you can put on a cheeseburger – from the classic lettuce and tomato to onion straws and avocado. Each woman has her own kind of toppings and flavor. Personally, I have a lot of spicy barbeque sauce. Some women might have a more subtle flavor. But I bet you have a favorite.

And like any cheeseburger, you have to love a woman with buns.

Sarah is the creator of Not the It Girls. You can contact her at sarah@nottheitgirls.com.