Types Of Women

 

The Different Types Of Women:

Alpha Female: She is the queen bitch and she knows it. When she walks in the room everyone turns and stares at her. Not only is she hot, but she knows she's hot. She can go home with any guy that she wants to on any given night. She'll normally go for guy much older than her who have money because she is not getting with any of the peasants that are her age. Those older guys usually have to be dripping in swag and be real dickheads to her to pick her up. If you don't have swag and you're a nice guy, you have no chance. She goes for the dickhead older guys with money because they know what they're doing in the bedroom, and if they slip one passed the goalie she becomes a trophy wife. 

Celebrity Equivalent: Marisa Miller

Beta: She's usually the friend of the really hot chick who's anywhere between a 3 and a 7. She's the one who the friend of the Alpha Male jumps on so that the Alpha Male can get with the Alpha Female. However, this friend is usually the one who gets jealous that no guys want to talk to her and she becomes a bitter bitch about it. She thinks she's hot but she has no idea her "friend" is just hanging out with her so she looks that much better. She is also the girl who meets that guy who's in the 5-8 range but happens to be hammered and can't see so he takes her home and nails her. She thinks she did good, he wakes up and thinks, "What the fuck did I do?" 

Celebrity Equivalent: Courtney Love

DUFF: Yup here it is, the Designated Ugly Fat Friend. Every woman has one. The problem is that the DUFF is ALWAYS the bitchiest one out of all of them, and the biggest cock block on the face of the planet. She has no idea that she needs to raise her hand if she wants to speak and that she's only there to make the Beta look somewhat attractive. The only time she gets laid is when groups of guys decide they're gonna go hogging one night and try to pick up the fattest, ugliest broad they see (Winner usually drinks for free the next time out). She also doesn't realize that absolutely nobody with a cock in the entire place wants to actually speak to her. Oh, and she also has skinny mirrors in her house or apartment because she dresses like she weighs 95 pounds. 

Celebrity Equivalent: Snookie during Jersey Shore Season 3