You Can't Trust A Woman If She's Wearing...

 

I call this segment You Can't Trust A Woman If She's Wearing...And I am going to give you the five things that women wear when you can't trust them. I think of this as more of an educational post for both men and ladies. So here it is:

You can't trust a woman if she's wearing...

5) A Leopard Bra: Now you won't be able to figure this out until you get in bed with her and undress her, but if she's wearing a leopard bra then you need to never call her again. The leopard bar signifies a freak as well as a conniving and evil bitch. Make sure you don't fall asleep because this is the type of girl who sneaks out in the middle of the night and steals your money. 

4) Mini Skirts: Do I enjoy looking at a girl in a mini skirt? Absolutely. Do I think you should take this girl home to mom? Absolutely not. If a girl is wearing something that unveils her ass cheeks every time she takes a step, then you have no reason to think she could be trusted. 

3) Fishnets: Do I really need to explain this one? Fishnets are the official halloween costume of girls who want to be sluts. If she's in fishnets, she's a pig and she can't be trusted. 

2) Hooped Earrings: What woman in the history of the world has worn hooped earrings and been a good girl? None. The most recent pig who comes to mind is Blake Lively's character in The Town. She wore hooped earrings. It's almost like a tramp stamp, except it's extremely obnoxious and it hangs from their ears. 

1) Leather Boots: Also known as hooker boots, anything with the word hooker in it that happens to be on a woman spells trouble. If she's wearing these she's probably naive to the fact that she's a whore and just uses sentences like, "I always try new things." Yeah, you try new things, including anal. I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you bitch.