WrestleMania27 Review

Your Boy Johnny Baseball has been kind enough to give us a review of WrestleMania 27. Needless to say, he was no too pleased...

WrestleMania 27

I know I was previously referred to as Johnny Baseball...but in fact I am a master of all sports, even wrestling. A few of my colleagues even call me J.D. Punk in reference to C.M.Punk (seriously though...they do..and yeah its embarassing after tonight). With that said...from a scale of 1 to 10 Wrestlemania was a...hm...a half...a half a point..0.5...thats how awful it was.

The night starts out with the Rock coming out. Twenty minutes later once he FINALLY! gets to the ring...he babbles about something like a jackass...Waste of time thanks. He was the host and he did absolutely nothing he was on the show for a half hour tops.

What was with all of these hype videos... They all were a bunch of time fillers...Horrible...almost made it unbareable to watch. But at this point i wasn't too upset...First half hour you had the Rock goin nuts and I was getting ready for what I thought for the most part would be an entertaining night.

Now were ready to start. And the first match is....A WORLD HEAVYWEIGH TITLE MATCH...are you fucking kidding me? (my first curse word on the blog). How dare they put a world heavyweight championship match first. An atrocity to anyone whos ever held a belt. None the less...this winded up being the best match of the night...It should have been one of the last 4 matches..but no Snooki and her fat, ugly, sausage body took the second to last match..But I must say, Edge is the man, so is Christian. They are the reason Wrestlemania 27 got a 0.5 rating. They bashed in this dufus Alberto Del Rios car..another shmuck that they try to give a nice push but is a complete fucking moron (See Jack Swagger, Shelton Benjamin...guys like that). Thanks Edge..your the man.

Now after this match you think hey maybe this will pick up..WRONG..Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio..Why these two men still have a job in the WWE is extremley difficult for me to understand. And what do you know. A horrible match. Two morons wearing a mask...and a mexican dude dressing up as Captian America. He would have been better off dressing up as kenny powers mexican side kick Aaron on eastbound and down. Cody Rhodes looked like Mr.Bean...he doesn't even wear knee pads..moron..

Next we had...the Corre vs. Big Show, Kane, Santino Marella & Kofi Kingston...Really? This must have been a sick April Fool's day joke. The match lasted for maybe a minute? Horrible..Santino is the biggest jerkoff ever (topping The Situation) and im seriously upset that Kane has been demoted to this kind of role in the WWE..A man once feared by everyone is now dancing in the ring like a trumpet player with Santino and Kofi Kingston...need I say joke

Another Video that took up minutes of my life that won't ever get back and we have Randy Orton vs. C.M. Punk..Not a horrible match...some good spots (moves..for all you non-wrestling fans) And a really cool ending with the RKO...Kudos to these two men for actually having a WrestleMania worthy match.

Another reason this WrestleMania got a 0.5 rating was...Pee Wee Herman...thats how awful this event was.

The Jerry The King Lawler vs. Michael Cole match was a fucking disgrace to anyone who ever stepped into the ring during a wrestlemania...They did absolutley nothing and Michael Cole looks as if he has never ever done anything physically or athletically in his entire useless life. He is a horrible interviewer and announcer and he looked like a giant baby in his skin tight bright orange costume. The match was literally painful to watch. The only thing that saved it was Austin stunning Jack Swagger and Booker T..Otherwise it was like watching old people fuck..even worse..GOD AWFUL.

The next match...HHH vs. Undertaker singlehandedly made me never want to watching Wrestling again. They tried to make it exactly like Michaels and Taker..NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN...just give up...HHH and Taker...please retire..You're both old and obviously cannot work a match anymore. The whole match was just a bunch of big moves..it wasn't worked well at all..They would each hit their finisher...FINISHER...supposed to end the match but no...about 6 times it was a cover..a kick out the person would lay there and one of them would get up and hit another finisher and that continued for the majority of the match..It ends with a submission...PLEASE...no wait...CHILDPLEASE...absolutely horrible. Another disgrace to anyone whos ever faught at Wrestlemania.

Now...John Morrison, Trish Stratus & Snooki vs. Dolph Ziggler & LayCool...I may not even comment on this match..Snooki..AND THIS WAS THE SECOND TO LAST MATCH!?!?!?! a complete joke...Again...a disgrace to any wrestler to ever wrestle at Wrestlemania...First off...John Morrison and Zigler did nothing...they weren't even a part of the match..Second...you mean to tell me that this match deserved the second to last spot...so it was better than Orton vs. Punk? It was better than Edge vs. Del Rio? Give me a fucking break...this truly angered me....FUCKING DISGRACE

Now to the "main event" I must say I love the Miz...but Cena is a complete joke..you wrestle in jordans and jean shorts give me a break and you're the whitest man on earth so please stop trying to rap. It was an ok match..The Miz really knows how to work a match but the ending...ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!!!??? i haven't seen a double countout in possibly 15 years...i don't think its happened since the Cold War...and then The Rock comes out to say thats not how the match is supposed to end..but wait..he screws Cena over..or did he? Cena had already lost so what was the point of giving him the Rock Bottom and making him lose...again...is it me or....who else is not fully understanding this? There was completely no point to this. Then he beats up the Miz...again...what reason was this for? As the host he should have changed it so he pins Cena or the Miz and wins the title..that woulda been a fucking ending..not this bullshit we all had to suffer through.

Last but not least apparently a US title match was kicked off the card..THATS RIGHT A TITLE MATCH!...for what reason I couldn't tell you but maybe because it wasn't good enough to beat out Cody Rhodes...or Snooki...another absolute disgrace.

So there it was...the horridness of Wrestlemania 27..A complete disgrace...Old timers like Bret Hart, Hot-Rod, Macho Man, Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior must have been watching in absolute and utter disgust shaking their heads. because I know for damn sure I was..HORRIBLE

Well there was a profanity laced rant about the disgrace that i wasted 55$ on...keep on keepin' on with Hammers Blog..you never know what will pop up next.