Saturday, February 9, 2013

Slothy's Quarterly Commercials that Suck Post

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've been working like a dawwggg. And by sorry I mean I don't care.

Anyways, as many of you know I'm a huge television watcher. Recently I've had to cut back, but I still watch my fair share of television when I have the chance. Commercials happen to be an inherent part of being an avid T.V. watcher, AKA Couch Potato.

I'll go Top 3 Commercials that make me lose faith in humanity, and then two bonus promos.

3. Callous Removal Commercial

Oh hey disgusting feet with disgusting skin. Please, feel free to be my commercial at 7 am when I'm eating my breakfast. I already feel disgusting eating this early i, why don't you just pile on top of my disgust by thrusting your gross ass feet in my face. I swear to god this commercial only comes on when I'm eating. Something fishy about it. Why are you doing this to me? 

2. Wendy's Commercial, more specifically Wendy's girl


Everything about this commercial makes me seethe with anger. I CANNOT stand Wendy's girl. Can't do it, can't coach with him, can't win with him! Lets break it down. 1)The way she quietly says Wendy's. Oh really stupid Wendy's bitch? Didn't realize it was such a revolutionary concept that Wendy's makes cheap, delicious food. You don't have to whisper it. It's a commercial, you're trying to promote the fact that Wendy's makes delicious fast food at an amazing price, stop trying to be cool cause I have news for you...you aren't. 2) The reaction after she eats the frosty. Just kill yourself, frosty's aren't that good. 3) "So not the same." Oh really? You figured that out? She has a burger, fries, drink and a frosty...and he has a mini burger and you picked up on the fact that they aren't the same. Brilliant. I wish that guy would take the burger and just shove it down her gullet. 4) "Going in." Legitimately puke in my mouth every time she says that. Not funny at all. Annoying. Take this goddamn commercial off the air. 

1. Undisputed Worst. KFC "Game Day Bucket Go Boom."

I decided not to show the whole commercial. Whole thing is a big pile of shit. But it really just jumps off the shittiness/makes me want to kill everyone in the world chart with "Game Day Bucket Go Boom" girl. This has been blogged about on other sites. Less anyone think I'm trying to copy anybody, I really despised this commercial the first time I saw it. I think most guys did. Any guy who thinks this commercial is funny is somebody you should never associate with ever again. In fact, it may be a good idea to just kill that person on the spot because I really truly believe you'd be doing the world a favor. Now, onto the flannel wearing redhead. Umm, how about this chick is the worst person on planet earth. She's the girl who thinks she's cool enough to hang with the guys and cracks stupid jokes but then gets offended when somebody makes fun of her. How in gods name did KFC think this was okay? This is the worst commercial ever made. Especially in light of the fact KFC has had a month to forget by putting brains and kidneys in their fried chicken and not even trying to hide it. Game Day Bucket go Boom girl must be stopped. 

Dishonorable Mention:

Calvin Klein guy:

Yeah, I guess this dude has a decent body. If you're into rock hard abs and a perfect face this guy is OK, but I really find it disgusting that he's being objectified by women. It's really in poor taste. Also, I put on a pair of tight Calvin Klein underwear after this commercial with my shirt off, in front of a mirror, and I puked on myself. 

Honorable Mention:

Budweiser Baby Clydesdale:


I cried while writing this, true story. Not even fair to put human and animal camaraderie with Fleetwood Mac's Landslide in the background. Impossible for me not to sob. 

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