This Fat Chick Was on a Mission on New Years Eve

On New Year's Eve I was fortunate enough to attend the sickest concert I've ever seen when I went to see Jay Z and Coldplay at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn. What's great about New Year's Eve is that it's a lot like the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree in that there are always groups of chicks depressed that they have no one to kiss at midnight. But on New Year's Eve it's compounded by these chicks deciding to get as fucked up at they possibly can. Which brings us to the topic of the fat chick sitting behind me.

When I first arrived the crowd wasn't filled in at all and this fat chick showed up ready for fucking war. She came in, and let everyone in my row know that she was already fucked up and that she would be getting high during the show and if anyone had a problem with it they could go fuck themselves. I clapped, gave her a high five and said you do you hun. In lonely fat chick terms all she really meant was that she knew she wasn't getting fucked so she might as well not remember anything by getting fucked up.

Then as everyone was pounding beers I decided it would be a good idea to go piss before the intermission so that there wasn't a massive line. Turns out one of the women's bathrooms right by us was flooded and the only women's bathroom open was a single stall one and the line was wrapped around the arena. As I'm in the mens room taking a piss I hear a loud, obnoxious voice saying, "Get the fuck out of my way, I don't care if this is the men's room I have to pee!" She then went into a stall, threw a guy out of the stall and started yelling.

The gentleman pissing to my left then yelled out, "Wow, classy broad right there." Fat chick was not having that. She opened the bathroom stall with her pants around her ankles and yelled, "Oh go fuck yourself, it's New Year's Eve!" All she needed to do was walk up to a urinal and lift her leg and start pissing like a dog and my night would have been complete. Also ladies, just so you know New Year's Eve isn't an excuse to lose all sense of your morals. She also compounded the "classiness" by opening the stall and yelling with her pants around her ankles.

And finally as the night went on I just kept turning around and watched her pound beers like a champ and take like four joints to the face. By the time she was walking out she was basically stumbling down the stairs and I have no idea how she made it home I just know her skinny friend probably has major back issues from carrying her ass to wherever they were going. However, her mission had been completed. She got as fucked up as she possibly could on New Year's Eve and everyone around her enjoyed every second if it. And now she is famous in the blog world.