Remember in Lethal
Weapon when Danny Glover exclaims, “I’m too old for this shit!” Well, I’m
too old for this shit. And by “this shit,” I mean “dragging my ass to bars
every weekend to meet boys.” While I’m sure that you have more stamina than I,
truth be told, you’ll have more luck meeting girls in the outside world.
Bars are not the natural habitat for women. The women you’ll
find are dressed to the nines, game faces on, ready to hunt. Basically, to meet
the best kind of girl, find her in real life. Get ready to stop spitting game,
be yourself and find the real girls at the following places.
The Gym
At the gym you’ll find the determined girls. The ones who
care about taking care of themselves. They’ll be sweaty and gross but that’s
not a bad thing. Without the makeup, you’ll see a girl’s true beauty. Sweat and
all. Note: If you see a girl in full makeup at the gym, do not approach. She’s
insecure and looking to pick up guys. Do you like working out? Great, you
already have something in common with that girl on the elliptical.
Concerts
I’ve found that I connect with guys over music more than
anything else. Seeing your favorite band at MSG or at the local dive? Keep your
eyes peeled, there’s a lady there that digs the band just as much as you do.
With that in common, it’s pretty easy to find something to talk about. Girls at
concerts, not including Justin Beiber, One Direction, etc. tend to be free
spirits. Find your Outside the Box Girl here.
Record Stores and
Book Stores
I think the point is clear now that it’s pretty difficult to
discover common interests with a girl at the bar. So why not find a girl while
pursuing your interests? It’s easy to
illegally download an album, but it’s not as easy to meet a girl. Did your
favorite band just put out a new album? A special edition 45? Go to the store
and get it! You might find a lovely lady looking for that very same album.
Boom.
The Dog Park
Note: This only works if you have a dog. Chicks dig puppies.
Chick dig dudes with puppies. ‘Nuff said.
School
Unfortunately, this only works for the scholarly gentleman –
undergrad, grad or doctoral. Assuming you’re not say, an engineer, you’re bound
to find girls within your field of study classes. (Just kidding. Mostly. I
dated two engineers.) Study together, do a project together, then ask her on a
date. Stumped for conversation? Laugh about your professor’s ridiculous
mustache and things that interest you.
Worst comes to worst, you can try online dating. I wouldn’t
recommend it. Now get out there and find yourself the girl of your dreams! (If
you need me, I’ll be at the record store trying to find the limited edition
Gaslight Anthem 7”.)
I hate to tear apart every post you make, but I feel obligated...Let's begin.
ReplyDelete1. Well done on the Lethal Weapon mention.
1a. On that same token, how do you not mention the scene from Superbad where the cops talk about places to meet women? A pumpkin patch? My first wife, who was a whore, by the way; where do you think I met her? At a bar.
2. Don't ever hate on Justin Bieber again.
3. Record Stores? I didn't even know those still existed. Honest to god, I thought they all closed. Also, who has time to read nowadays.
4. Dog Park is for sure the #1, and any chick with any breed of bulldog should be the number one target. Any chick with a chihuhua or shitty rat dog should be avoided at all costs.
5. I agree with your gym analysis.