What Makes A Woman Undateable?

 

Women have so much shit to say all the time about guys being undateable. Well ladies, if you haven't noticed you're not all that fucking fantastic yourselves. So to shove it right up your ass, here are five things that make a woman undateable...

5) We can't picture you naked: If we can't paint a mental picture of what you look like naked, how are we gonna date you? If there's nothing about you that is sexy, then there's nothing about you that makes us want to have sober sex with you. Sure because we're men we'll bang anything one time while we're drunk. But if you're not sexy and we can't picture you naked then there's no way we're going to want to have continuous, sober sex with you. 

4) We treat you like dirt, you stick to us like mud: Do you honestly think we have respect for a girl who doesn't stand up for herself and keeps coming back the more we treat them like shit? No fucking chance. If we treat you like shit and then you let us fuck you without having to make a commitment why would we take you home to mom? You're more along the lines of pathetic and you're not on the list of acceptable women to date. Have some respect for yourself. 

3) You have the mouth of a truck driver: Throwing around F bombs and talking like you're a gangster is like the biggest turn off in the league. Nobody wants to hear a woman throwing around the word fuck like it's a verb. If we took you home and you did that in front of our parents they would think we just brought home a fifteen dollar hooker. Clean it up. 

2) You can't handle your liquor: Nothing is worse than a girl who doesn't know her drinking limit and is getting her hair held back while she yacks all over the place every fucking weekend. And nothing is less attractive than a girl who's stumbling all over herself at the bar. If you constantly do this you're nothing more than that slut who the sleezy guys take home from the bar just so they can get their dick wet even if you are passed out. 

1) You act dumber than a box of rocks: There's a sheer difference between just being dumb and acting dumb. When a girl is just dumb in general it doesn't come out in the way she sounds when she talks, in comes out in what she actually says. When a girl sounds dumb, it comes out in the way she sounds when she talks. Why? Because she uses the word "like" after every fucking word and pretends she doesn't know shit that she really does know about. Asking a guy questions that he knows you already know the answer to is one of the easiest ways to have him stop talking to you. If you're gonna act dumb, you better be able to suck a golf ball through a garden hose or take it in the ass.