Drunk Story Saturday's: This Phone Isn't Staying Here

 

Drunk Story from Dave (Delaware): 

"It was the first week back to college and it was the first Thursday night. For some reason Thursday's in college were always the big night, but I think that's the case everywhere. But this isn't about the Thursday night ordeal, this is about what happened on this specific Thursday night. I had sex with this girl my freshman year, however she had a boyfriend when we had sex. She then was actually thinking about leaving her boyfriend for me and I told her that would be the biggest mistake she's ever made because I wasn't looking for anything. Now, we're at the bar at the beginning of sophomore year and I see her. She comes over and says hello and then utters the words, "You know I'm single now right?" I calmly responded with, "So does that mean you're coming back with me?" She said, "Yes." We get back to my room and we're going at it like animals. Then she asks me if she could sleep over because her dorm was on the other side of campus and I said absolutely not the beds are too small. She then was begging me and says, "I'll sleep on the floor." At that point I said now there's really no shot. Plus I had to get up early the next day. Finally I get her to leave, and I go back in the room and my roommate is back because I had sexiled him. I look on the floor and see a cell phone. I said, "Please tell me that's your cell phone over there." He said it wasn't and that he had his right with him. I said, "No, please tell me that's your cell phone right there." I knew who's it really was and she was clever. She left her phone in my room on purpose because she wanted an excuse to talk to me the next day. I wasn't having it. My roommate asked me what I was gonna do with the phone and I said that I was gonna throw it down the stairs. What did I do? I went into the hallway, and threw it down the stairwell that she left from. Why? Because now it just looked like she dropped her phone while she was walking back hammered. Her friend had told me that the school public safety found the phone in building two. Which was weird because I lived in building three. None the less, I'm not saying it was not the most scumbag move I've ever pulled, but it was definitely genius. And I didn't have to talk to her again for another three months."

Fucking Bravo man. Bravo. I can't even tell you how impressed I am. That is the most genius tactic ever. I mean yes, you are a scumbag, but that is awesome. I just want to shake your hand for that one. Email me again, I'm sending you a t-shirt. This was phenomenal.