This one's for all those chicks out there who claim to be "one of the guys". Do we like hanging out with the girls who are just one of the guys? Absolutely. But do we want to bang the girls who are just one of the guys? Not so much. You're one of the guys for a reason, and a lot of it has to do that we really don't wanna bang you.
You can't expect to pound beers and get shitfaced with us on the reg and then expect us to want to have sex with you. We look at you like we look at one of our boys. Like yeah, you're a good time and we like to hang out with you but we like to hang out with you on like poker night not when we're going out and trying to pick up bitches. Which is where my next point comes in.
If you're gonna be one of the guys you can't get pissed off when you're not getting laid. Why? Because you put yourself in that position by wanting to be a fucking dude. You keep hanging out with all dudes who don't wanna bang you. Go out with some fucking girls and try your very best to get piped out by a random dude. Have a random guy go down on you for several hours, do something so that you're not walking around miserable all the time because you haven't been fucked since 'nam.
Long story short, we love hanging out with you and doing guy things with you. But in order for you to get laid you're gonna have to go hunting for some dick because we certainly aren't gonna be the ones bringing it to you. Go out there and get some strange ass. You're happy because you got laid and we're happy because you're not miserable. It's a win for everybody involved.
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