Tales of Guys Girl

 

So for the people out there that know me, they know I'm pretty much like a guy.  Not a tomboy, Stevie Wonder has better hand eye coordination than me.  I'm talking about the fact that I just really can't help acting like a boy.  I have boobs, when I go out I do the whole hair/make-up, short black dress thing.  But the minute I open my mouth guys start treating me like I have a penis.  Do you know what that's like for a chick? IT SUCKS.  Sure all guys think they want a girl that's chill and can fuck around and watch a football game, but they don't.  They want a girl that's not a complete bitch but is still pretty feminine.  I tried really hard to be like a girl, joined a sorority and everything.  In the end though, I'm always going to be one of the guys in the friend zone.     So I have to agree with Steve on this one, sometimes its hot to do guy things but most of the time not. Here's what it's like to basically be a dude with a vagina:

First an foremost, the sex thing.  Guy always say they want a girl who is wild and crazy, but not in a slutty way.  Well I've tried to walk that line of being fun and staying classy, and let me say it's not a line.  It's a fucking hair-thin tight rope. I grew up working in construction and being around boys my entire life, so I learned to talk like one.  If I want to get laid, I'm gonna say how and when I want it.  Does that mean I'm going home with any dude that walks my way? Hell no.  In fact I'm extremely picky when it comes to doing the deed.  Most people fantasize about sex all the time.  I just have no filter so I figure why not have the balls to say what everyone is really thinking?

Being in to "masculine" things.  For those of you that don't know me, I am obsessed with comic books, video games, and action movies.  I could probably win jeopardy if they did a Spiderman-themed show.  But being able to debate what Stars wars has the most epic lightsaber fight (it's Episode III by the way) does not make a guy think you're sexy.  It makes him think you're fucking weird. 

Eating like a baby elephant.  I work out about 10 hours a week because I like to stuff my face full of junk food on the weekend.  Want to know what guys really think of a girl that eats? Take him to McDonalds and house an entire big mac in 2 bites then watch his face. His boner will be softer than the ketchup packets. 

Sports. I can't talk about this because I'm still hurting from the Superbowl.  Let's just say I live my life around the Pats schedule during football season and no dude is gonna get in the way of that.  More to come on this topic in the future, once I recover from the letdown. 

And as a disclaimer, I know all guys wouldn't be turned off by these things.  Just saying that if you think it's fun to date a girl that's sexy but is pretty much dude, think again.  In my experience most guys can't handle it.  They stick with the pretty girls who won't kick their ass in Mario.