Drunk Story from John (Fairfield U)
It was my 22nd birthday, the first one that doesn't matter. One of my good friends came up from home and we were absolutely ready to go for a long day of drinking. He got to my house at around 3:30 and we decided why not go to happy hour? Happy hour, you know the time that the bar has drink deals and everything is cheap right? Yeah, well we were there from 4-7:30 and our tab ended up being $110. How that happened I have no idea, but we're probably the only two assholes on the face of the earth to ever spend that much money during happy hour.
But it wasn't over yet, we still had to go pre game and then go out. We did. The only thing I remember from the pre game is that for some dumb reason we were lighting shots on fire. I have no idea what the shots were, but I was drinking them. I also happened to text every female in my phone book to make sure I was getting some form of ass that night.
Now we get to the the bar and the lights are on, it's fucking weird. No one knows what's going on. All of a sudden the cops are walking around the place. This was kind of refreshing because I was obviously 22 and didn't have to worry. I could get shitfaced and they couldn't do shit because I was hopping in a cab right after. However, I did not have to hop in a cab, my friend being the savage that he was gets these girls to drive us back to my house. I then end up texting a woman in my phone book. I don't know what I said but she came to pick me up.
I went back to her house and she started giving me more shots. Just what I needed. I've been drinking since 4 in the afternoon, it's one in the morning, you can take full advantage of me already, I really don't need more shots. But I mean she put the shots in front of me, I'm not not gonna take them. So I was just hardcore drinking. And then we go to her bedroom to have some birthday sex. I don't know what went on during the birthday sex, I just know I had sex and that was it. I then remember her telling me to get the fuck out, to which I responded, "Okay, but you have to drive me back home." I really didn't think this was gonna work, but it did.
I then get back home to find my friend from home missing, my other friend drinking straight out of a huge bottle of captain morgan and one of my girl friends hammered drunk playing a drinking game with captain morgan guy. I then walk to the house two houses down from me and knock on their door just to buy weed. They looked at me like I was out of my fucking mind, but they gave me the weed anyway. I finally went back home, hit a bowl with my buddy, made some grilled cheese and went to bed. The perfect ending to an extremely eventful 22nd birthday.
If this really happened I'm impressed. Wow am I impressed. That's just awesome.
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