Yes, we all know the ever so famous female facebook status that says, "Sangria night with the girls =)", or something along those lines. First of all, why is it always sangria? Second of all, why does everyone in the facebook world need to know that you're drinking sangria with your friends. And third, no one actually gives a flying fuck that you're getting drunk off what is basically hawaiian punch.
Sangria is the only actual evidence that we need to figure out that girls cannot outdrink guys. Girls claim that they can "easily outdrink any guy", all the time and not only does it make you look like Lindsey Lohan, it's also entirely not true. Listen bitch, you're drunk off two glasses of fucking sangria, there's no chance in hell you can outdrink me. If you would like to test this theory out, I'll bet you a blowjob that you're throwing up before the night ends.
Another thing with sangria is that it's fucking expensive. Now some girls I notice have sangria night at someone's house to save money. We all know times are tough so they're doing sangria night the most economically friendly way that they can. But for the girls who order pitchers of the shit when you go out, you're out of your fucking minds. Places think they're selling liquid fucking gold. A pitcher of that shit is easily within the price range of $21-$27 dollars, for one fucking pitcher. Sorry, but you're all out of your minds for buying that shit.
Lastly, I don't know if anyone actually finds a girl who drinks sangria sexy. When I see a girl drinking sangria I see a spoiled bitch who can't hold her liquor. That may not be you, but that's what you are perceived to be. Do I like the taste of it? Obviously, it's one thousand percent sugar. But paying for it and getting drunk off it are two things that will never happen. Sorry to shit on your parade ladies, but someone had to do it.
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