Ladies, Where's The Flood?

 

I saw something last Thursday night that got me a little upset. This beautiful girl walks into the bar wearing a tight black tank top and then these loose baggy ass jeans/flood pants. I was baffled. I wanted to walk up to her and say, "What's up Jack Sparrow, where's the flood?" Obviously I didn't do that, but girls, what is up with these pants? 

Like first of all, if you're hot, let's say a 9, you get brought down to about a 7.5 on the rating scale just by wearing these ridiculous pants. No guy wants to actually look at you wearing the same pants from MC Hammer's Can't Touch This music video. There is absolutely nothing sexy about a girl wearing floppy, baggy pants, there just isn't. You might as well just say, "I haven't been laid in awhile, and I don't plan on getting laid anytime soon."

Whatever happened to the nice, tight jeans that look painted on? My first question is how do you girls actually get these on? Especially those of you with large behinds. My second question is, why are these now out of style. I've been seeing skirts and cargo pants on women. Do you know how depressing that is? Cargo pants? Are you shitting me? 

I am calling out all women right now. We want the tight jeans. None of this baggy jean shit, none of this cargo pants bullshit and definitely none of the long skirt nonsense I have seen. If you're wondering why a guy hasn't hit on you in awhile, it's because you don't wear tight jeans or short skirts. Get a clue. And help us out while you're at it. Everyone likes a little eye candy.