Drunk Story Saturday's: Women Can't Drive

 

Drunk Story from Tim (NYC)

So I'm at the bar with this girl and I wasn't gonna take her home but the bartender was telling me that I'm out of my mind if I don't. We leave the bar and this girl is hammered, definitely shouldn't be driving, but I don't have a license for a year and I'm also hammered. She's driving back to my place and suddenly she sideswipes a cab. Awesome. I just said you know what, get out I'll drive. Now I'm driving around the city hammered, with no license. Finally, we somehow make it back to my apartment and we get it on. I wake up the next day and I completely forgot she was there, I was pretty surprised to see her. She looked at me and asked me if I wanted to go again and obviously I'm not turning down sex. When we're done I tell her I need to go into work I have to pick something up. She says that she'll drive me, great. It turns out that this bitch is a worse driver sober than she is drunk. She's driving me to work and she rear ends some guy within five minutes of getting back in the car. I got out, I said, "You can handle this," and I said that I could walk the rest of the way. All she said was, "Text me," and I just waved and basically ran as fast as I could. Haven't spoken to her since.

Rule #35: Women can't drive...It's as consistent as gravity.