The Pitching Staff

 

For those of you who don't know what the pitching staff is, I will explain. It's the role that each member of your group of friends plays when you all go out. What I am going to do is name all the roles and describe them, that way you get a better understanding of the pitching staff. 

Starter: This is your buddy who starts up the conversations with the women at the bar. Whether a girl is by herself or with a group of girls, your friend will always get a nice conversation going to set the tone for the night. He always gets your group of friends to the group of girls. He gets the first pick on who he wants because he's your ace, and you always expect him to throw a complete game.

Long Reliever: This is the guy who saves the day if the starter is having a tough time. He finds a way to get all the girls in the group involved in a conversation while also getting a couple of laughs. This will loosen up everyone who is around and keep the women interested in you and your friends. He is not needed every night out, but when he is needed he usually comes up big. 

Middle Reliever: He's your buddy who doesn't have a preference on which girl he gets with in the group. He'll hop on the ugly friend if he has to and he'll even occupy the fat one. He's selfless and comes out to play every night. This guy may not be a big name, but he's an important piece to your puzzle during your night out. 

Situational Lefty: He's the one who doesn't dance, unless the situation is right. He has no problem talking to a girl the whole night, but when it comes to dancing it's not really his cup of tea. However, if given the right girl, he will dance to seal the deal. When you need him to dance, there's no one more clutch. 

Set Up Man: This is the one who has the girlfriend, but he'll always be there to help out his buddy during a bathroom break. He says all good things about you to the girl you're trying to get with and he always makes sure you're going home with that girl before he leaves for the night. 

Closer: You don't see him until the end of the night, mainly because he hasn't left the bar since you got there. He's your guy who gets mega hammered, but swoops in late in the night to take on the one remaining lonely girl. He's destroyed so it doesn't matter what she looks like, he makes sure that everyone goes home with a chick. Once you see him walk over with the half open eyes and drunk smile, you know the game's over. He's like Mariano in the post season, and he gets you and all your friends the W.