Bottle Groupies

You see them all the time when you're out at a club. They're women, they wear tight dresses and short skirts, and the only thing they have on their mind is drinking for free. They are the bottle groupies. Girls who flock to guys who have tables just so they can drink for free, and here is why I hate all of them. 

When guys have tables they tend to give away shit for free. Normally, the bottle groupies don't show up with the guys who have the table. They just pretend that they're interested in the guys so that they get invited to the table and can drink the alcohol that's there. I have no problem with getting girls to my table. What I have the problem with is how they drink all the alcohol like they're the ones who bought the table. 

Since girls only travel in packs, which I will get to tomorrow, by the time they're all done sucking down the liquor there's nothing left for guys like me. And these girls don't pay for the next $300 bottle because by the time that one gets there, they're gone. Which is why I have a proposal that should become a law. 

If you are a bottle groupie, you and your friends are entitled to give the guys at the table a minimum of a hand job for one drink. Anything above one drink you are entitled to go home with them for their services to you. If they're spending money on you, they deserve something in return.

It sounds a bit harsh, but it's a necessary evil. Bottle groupies shouldn't get a free ride no matter how hot they are. And if you really want to be hot shit, get your own table.