Women Who Wear Fedora's

There's nothing I like more than a hot girl wearing a fedora hat. Well, a hot naked girl wearing a fedora hat would actually suffice for me but beggars can't be choosers. Regardless, notice how in my first two sentences I have used one very key word. That word would be "hot". Hot women can wear fedora hats. Hot women can pretty much wear whatever the hell they want. Basically, this message is for you ladies who we would charitably call not so hot.

Ladies, listen up. If you are a bit on the larger side, please do not even think about stepping out of your house with a fedora hat on. If I ran the world, I would have a law against fat chicks who wear fedora hats. I would actually have a "Shoot On Spot" order out for you fatties who wear fedora hats out like you're fifty pounds less than you really are. Stop it, you're fat, there's just some things that don't look good on you. Get over it, and move on. Stop trying to fool yourself.

Most importantly, for you hot ladies, wear the fedora hat at the proper time. Like when you go out partying and stuff, I'm all for you wearing your sexy little hat. But when it's 10 o'clock in the morning at Home Depot and you're in a fedora hat, shorts that are up your ass, and a tank top that's painted on, you have some self esteem issues. It's 10am hun. You're at Home Depot, who are you impressing?

What's the moral of the story? The moral of the story is if you're a fat chick, please stop wearing these hats. The other moral of the story is if you're hot, please pick the proper time to wear these hats. If you ladies can do these two simple tasks, everything will be just fine. Not only for you, but for the guys who are looking at you.