What New Jersey is Good For

This article will outline everything the State of New Jersey is good for. Sorry residents but it's long as you are probably anticipating. New Jersey is good for the following:

-Cheaper gas
-Newark Airport
-Cheaper gas
-Atlantic City

I think you get the hint, pretty fucking useless state. What's your biggest export? Kids named Brodie, Tanner, and Tristan. What's your biggest import? Guido idiots. I propose New Jersey be renamed from the "Garden State", because let's get serious the plants that do survive from the lovely air aren't garden quality plants, to the "Shit-hole State".

Your beaches are overrated. Trust me. Ever go to a beach in Florida? Fuck that, how about Virginia? Blows Jersey out of the water. What does New Jersey have to offer, seriously? You can't make left hand turns on major roads, you have to pay bullshit tolls every few miles on the Garden State Parkway, which is pitch black at night. Oh yea, the food is shit. Think about it, New York is known for their steaks, pizza and Italian restaurants and New Jersey advertises that their owners are originally from Brooklyn. So is every one! Sorry to burst your bubble, Tony from Bensonhurst relocated to Manalapan because your bitch wife wanted a backyard. By the way how's that working out for you?

You are probably thinking it's good for the football stadiums. New Jersey, sorry but that was New York's pity gift. We felt bad for you and gave you two football teams so you can make some capital. We basically had no place to put them and out of pity said go ahead.

What does New Jersey have really? You have two major sports teams, the Devils and the Nets. HAHA and one is relocating to Brooklyn!!!! Tony originally from Bensonhurst follow them for your own welfare and self being. The Devils are ALL you have, that's it. We also gave you the Yankees AA team but lets be serious, it's in Trenton which should be renamed North Tijuana and it's AA baseball.

Your roads make zero sense. What the hell is Winding Hollow Willow Lane? Does Pocohauntus live down the block?

The linchpin, WAWA! What the fuck is a WAWA? Sounds like something you call a blowjob when you're like 15 years old. It's a glorified 7-11, and 7-11 is better. Why? Because it's not named fucking WAWA!

Other reasons:
- 19 years old to buy cigarettes, obviously just trying to be difficult.
- You can't pump your own gas. I am perfectly capable thank you Ahmed.
- You need to drive everywhere!
- Everything sounds the same: ex. Matawan, Manasquan (give me a break)
- Smells like pure turd
- Murdered the reputation of Italian-Americans
ex: Sopranos, Jersey Shore, Jerseyliscious ---- blow me!

In the words of my friend Joe,
"Welcome to New Jersey, who farted?"