NFL Draft Winners and Losers

Steve the Hammer

Winners:

Detroit Lions: Holy shit how are you going to block these guys? Adding Nick Fairley to Ndamukong Suh is going to be an absolutely absurd combination on that defensive line. They’re going to be a nightmare for offensive coordinators. But let’s not forget about that offense. They added Titus Young, which will now get Calvin Johnson single coverage and then they went and grabbed Illinois running back Mikel Leshoure, who will be an awesome compliment to Jahvid Best. Look out for the Lions this year, they will be competitive and could make a playoff push.

Atlanta Falcons: I disagree with Johnny Baseball here, which you will see later. First and foremost adding Julio Jones to an offense that already has Roddy White, Tony Gonzalez and Michael Turner is going to be so much fun to watch. Now Matt Ryan has the deep threat wideout to go alongside White. You can’t double Roddy White anymore because Julio Jones will torch you. Another pick that everyone is over looking is picking up Jacquizz Rodgers in the third round. He will keep Turner healthy and also gives them a thunder and lightning type of running game. This offense is going to be explosive.

Honorable Mention Winners:

New York Giants: I’m picking my boys here because they got help in the secondary, which I love because I don’t have to see Aaron Ross get burnt like Joan of Arc and Marvin Austin could be the steal of the entire draft.

Tampa Bay Bucs: That D-line is going to incredible. That’s all I have to say about that.

Losers:

Minnesota Vikings: Picking Christian Ponder in the first round was nothing but a panic pick in my opinion. They actually could have waited until the second round to get this guy and should have just taken the best available player. This sets you back 3 or 4 years in my opinion. That’s why your organization is shit, because of picks like this.

New England Patriots: It’s not the running back picks that I’m down on, it’s the fact that you needed a pass rusher and you didn’t do shit. You drafted Ryan Mallet to do what? It’s Brady’s team until he decides he doesn’t want to play anymore. You needed a pass rusher and you didn’t get one. I don’t know what the method to your madness is this time Bill, I think you shit the bed with this one.

Honorable Mention Loser:

Oakland Raiders: I think they all sit there blind folded and spin a wheel and whatever player it lands on they pick. That’s the only reasoning I could come up with.

Seattle Seahawks: What are you doing? Great, you have an O-line. What are you going to do when every team in the league puts 8 in the box and stuffs your running game? I sure as hell have no idea because you don’t have a QB.

Quite Frank-ly

WINNERS

Detroit Lions – I was totally shocked when they drafted Nick Fairley, my thought process was “wtf they already have Ndamukong Suh”, which quickly changed to “holy shit the two of them together is unreal”.  Adding Titus Young and Mikel Leshoure in the second round pretty much makes their offense explosive, if of course Matt Stafford’s shoulder is made of something other than vagina.  With that said Detroit went from one abysmal football team to having a pretty decent shot at making a playoff run this year.  Good shit!

Cincinnati Bengals – AJ Green. Enough said!  Hands of gold, runs like the wind, and oh yea he’s 6’4”.  That’s a damn stud receiver if I have ever seen one.  AJ Green is going to make people forget Ochocinco ever existed in about 3 years.  Andy Dalton will probably start at QB for them this year (Carson Palmer is probably kicking himself in the ass that he said he wants out after getting AJ Green).  To me Andy Dalton is the best QB in the draft.  Scam Newton is a pussy, Jake Locker can’t throw from the pocket, Christian Ponder was compared to Chad Pennington (enough said!) and Blaine Gabbert looks like he is Jimmy McElroy from “Blades of Glory”.  Cincy will struggle this year but I like the way the revamped their offence with their first two picks.

Honorable Mention Winners:

New York Jets - Bulked up an ancient D-Line and both guys should start

Tampa Bay Bucs - Clayborn is going to be good. Bowers if his knee holds up is one scary mother off the edge

LOSERS

Seattle Seahawks  - I really want to know what the Seahawks methodology was going into the draft.  Probably this, “We are going to get guys to protect our non-existent QB”.  Two offensive linemen with their first two picks when Charlie Whitehurst is your QB of the future, umm what!?!?!  Mike Williams is your only receiver (at best a pro #2) and you don’t draft one till your second selection in the 4^th round.  Garbage!!

New England Patriots– Apparently Bill Belicheck thinks he is forming a 4x200 relay team.  Umm, you’re carrying 4 running backs (Green-Ellis (that’s one player), Woodhead, and now two draft picks) on your roster.  Stupid ass!  Nate Solder is one big dopey bastard, and that’s about all he is.  Dudes feet look like they are in cinderblocks in his highlight film.  My favorite pick of all, Ryan Mallett.  The heir to Tom Brady, bring it the fuck on.  I find it hilarious that every ESPN analyst finds it amazing that they keep trading down, dude they are getting a bunch of mid round picks calm down, ever hear of quality over quantity.  I don’t care if you draft 11 guys, if they are all busts, you’re fucked, plain and simple.

Honorable Mention Losers:

Viking - Christian Ponder, enough said

Panthers - Cam Newton is not a leader or a good QB. If that’s the face of your franchise you’re screwed plain and simple

Johnny Baseball

First off let me say that the biggest losers are....MEL KIPER JR. and TODD MCSHAY....seriously...you got maybe two first round picks right. At this point is there even a need for you to actually do a whole draft where you get 10 picks right out of 254?..No..your services are no longer needed at ESPN, thank you and have a horrible day. Another loser...RODGER GOODELL...hahahah the fans booed the SHIT out of you...Good, you deserve it. Ryan Grant also tweeted how these kids shouldn't even shake your hand when they get drafted because you’re taking money right out of their pockets, and he’s probably right. Wonder how that $1 salary a day is treating you pal...

Now on to the teams. I'll do the losers first that way we end on a good note.

Losers -

Philadelphia Eagles - The Eagles had more than one move that made you say WTF? Who in the hell is that guy they took in the first round? DANNY WATKINS? A late second rounder at best. What I don’t get is if you needed a CB...Why not take Jimmy Smith? He has top 10 talent. You could have taken him with your first pick and then got an offensive lineman of the same value as Danny Watkins in the next round. AND THEN YOU DRAFT A KICKER...IN THE 4TH ROUND!...only two kickers were taken, so what does that tell you. You could’ve got the same guy as an undrafted free agent in 4 months. Wasted a pick.

Atlanta Falcons - How do you trade 5 picks for Julio Jones. A guy who has major health questions going into the draft. You trade your 1st, 2nd, and 4th or 7th I forget which one and NEXT YEARS 1st and 4th? What happens if Matt Ryan and Roddy White get hurt and you finish with 3 wins?...Guess what you just gave up the number one pick in the draft for Julio Jones. This trade also dropped you down to 6 picks in this draft without a 2nd rounder and a 4th rounder. To me it’s not good drafting. Your 2nd and 4th round guys become your starters and solidify your team. Didn't really address their front 7 need either.

New England Patriots - A team that usually does so well in the draft. Their picks had me scratching my head. Why would you take 2 running backs when you have Woodhead and Green Ellis and possibly Kevin Faulk. But what really makes them lose to me is that they didn't help out at all with their pass rush and linebackers. Do you really think the AFC is not going to try to run the ball down your throat now that they know you couldn't stop it last year and didn't do anything to help yourselves in this draft? Gotta question the theory here.

Honorable Mention Losers -

Minnesota Vikings - Christian Ponder....really?

Oakland Raiders - What else is new...they really have no concept of what a draft is

San Francisco 49ers - Passing on Ryan Mallet for Colin Kapernick? Big mistake - have fun running the Pistol.

Seattle Seahawks - I hate Pete Carroll. You went 7-9 and in no way shape or form deserved to even watch the playoffs on television. I’m glad you had a horrible draft and when Hasselback leaves have fun with Charlie Whitehurst and not Dalton or Mallet. IDIOTS!

Now on to the Winners -

Baltimore Ravens - Loving the Jimmy Smith pick and any character issues won't be a problem when Ed Reed, Terrelle Suggs, or Ray Lewis threaten your life. Tandon Doss and Torrey Smith are really good receivers, which is right up the Ravens alley. They desperately need a passing game over there if they want to take the next step. Tyrod Taylor also? Maybe a nice little switch-up with a wildcat...he provides deception. Really liked their draft.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers - They needed pass rushers, and what do they do. Go out and draft two MONSTERS in Adrian Clayborn and Da'Quan Bowers. Trust me they will make in impact. Now they can have some sort of faith in that front 7 and also picked up Ahmad Black out of Florida (go gators > chomp > chomp > chomp) who was solid as a DB for a while there.

Cincinnati Bengals - It's about time the Bengals realized they needed to change up who they drafted and the type of players...or thugs....they have on their team. A.J. Green is a beast and yeah I know he was suspended in college but it was for giving an auto-graphed jersey out. Hes a monster watch you'll see trust me (just like I told you all about Tulo!...Never going to let anyone live that one down). Andy Dalton...kids just a winner. Love the pickup there and Moch and Boling will become NFL starters. Get rid of these bums and problems on your team and start going in a different direction.

Honorable Mention Winners -

Cleveland Browns - Got some good players in the draft and took care of some needs.

Pittsburgh Steelers - Another not flashy, typical solid draft for these guys.

St. Louis Rams - Grabbed some good weapons for Bradford who did great last year with nobody.

Now to my favorite, beloved, Super Bowl 45 Champion Packers!-Typical draft for them. Simple and took care of some needs. D.J. Williams will make an impact and so will Alex Green and Derek Sherrod. I AM VERY EXCITE! Randall Cobb will be great for the Packers because he is more of that modern football player. Wildcat QB, wide receiver, running back, and kick returner. Pack need a guy like this. In his college career he rushed for 1313 yards with 22 tds...caught 144 balls for 1661 yards and 13 tds and here’s the wildcard!...threw 122 times for 689 yards and 5 touchdowns. Did I mention he had about 1700 yards in the return game with two touchdowns? This is in 3 years of college and Kentucky by the way...going to be a stud.

WE WANT FOOTBALL!